5. Why?

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Every parent believes that their kids go to school to study while living their peaceful and boring lives. As if they already experienced their fair-share of drama in their past and now peace will be their forever. They have no clue how many and what kind of daily challenges their kids have to face in school. They don't even think about the fact that sometimes we have to fight for our lives!

Our lovely parents don't even suspect that, actually, we have so many problems of our own that it seems like our head could explode from all of it. That sometimes the idea of studying seems so invalid and even funny compared to our situation.

Of course, we pretend that we're studying. That only studying is important to us but the truth is different.

We go to school for different reasons.

We go there to eat, sleep, love.
Also - to hate, betray, fear.
Finally: to fight and to win.

Only then to study, if we even have any strength left.

On Monday, I went to school to fight. Knowing that Jungkook will be waiting for me. He, that son of a bitch, will be waiting for me. I couldn't stop thinking about it.

All my weekend was filled with worry and fear.

What happened to his phone? Did it disappear or did someone stole it? But I saw it with my own eyes. He had it and then attacked me for no reason! And where the hell did he get the idea that I was the one who took it?

Sunday evening I just couldn't find peace with myself. Fear and worry took over me. I, probably, thought about a thousand possible places and ways me and Jungkook could meet.

Finally mom saw my changed body language and lifted her eyes from her notes.

"What's wrong? Why are you so nervous? Are you feeling sick?"

"No..." I answered.

She went back to her notes and then started to play the piano, meanwhile I was walking around my room and thinking about Jungkook. At the same time I was listening to the sound of the piano, echoing off the walls. It felt like punches in the gut.

Only late in the evening mom saw my blouse and shouted, surprised:

"It's ripped! Not even one button! Did you get into a fight?"

Fuck! This is a mess. I totally forgot about that blouse.

"No I didn't, they just...just ripped"

For a good minute, mom was just standing in one place and analyzing my face.

"You would tell me if there's problems at school, right? You know that I don't want to..."

"Everything is alright! There's no problems, mom" I tried to answer as calmly as I could.

"Okay"

But parents can't know everything about their kids. Of course they would like that but then it would cause the end of the world. Their poor little hearts would probably stop or they would go into depression.

I would never tell mom about Jungkook.

Jungkook is my life and parents wouldn't understand that their kids have a life of their own, where parents don't exist.

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