Indian Wedding Tales

A A K A S H : part II

"What did you plan for the big day? Are you going to invite your office friends along with your school friends? Also, when should I come? I guess a day before wou-"

"Mom," My voice is low but clipped making my mother stop mid-sentence.

"Yeah?" I heard her say which makes me pinch the bridge of my nose.

"I don't think we're going to make it a big show this year"

I could picture my mom frowning and ready to shoot questions but I beat her to it.

"Rumi... might not like it" I confessd and bit down my lip.

"Why? What's wrong with her?"

"She's facing a lot of stress due to office I guess"

"You guess? You're her husband, you shouldn't be guessing around things. You should know them!"

"You think I don't know that?!" Frustration that had been piling since morning seeped in my voice and I fell back on the sofa moving my fingers through my hair.

Mom was silent for a while as I try to get my breathing to slow down.

"She looks upset and frustrated, I don't want her to fake smiles while you guys come here to celebrate"

"But it's your fifth wedding anniversary" She speaks softly.

I sigh as I nod, "I know"

"I'll call you some other time, okay?"

With that I ended the call and watched the hands of the clock move in circles. Runi hadn't called after she left in hurry in the morning and although I wanted to relax and watch a light-hearted movie, my brain was against it. I could feel an itch somewhere within me that I couldn't scratch even if I wanted.

I rubbed my hands across my face and sighed.

I couldn't sit here and keep thinking about the same things, it wouldn't matter anyway. Runi was too stubborn when it came to problems. She wouldn't let even a sliver of bad news let by her and took it on herself to fight it off. But she came around... eventually. I just had to be patient for a few days and watch her with the same nonchalance and then like a magnet attracting iron, she would come right to me with eyes heavy and shoulders slumped.

I didn't like this routine. It got me irritated beyond measure the first year but I had learned to live with it, but that didn't mean I didn't worry. I could never...not worry about her.

Sometimes I felt like an intruder when I tried to push her boundaries but there was no winning with Runi. You could only wait for her move. It was still hard to break her shell. Even after five long years.

I didn't know if I could continue with her keeping me the dark and pretending that her sad eyes didn't bother me. It bothered me a lot and I wanted to tell her to start sharing thing. I was her husband for goodness' sake.

I got up deciding to cook instead of wallowing. Sulking would lead me nowhere. Runi was who she was and I couldn't change it, not even by being patient and silent. I needed to give her space and time just like I had done for the past years.

She'd come around.

Repeating this like a chant, I gathered the ingredients from refrigerator and began working. As I kept the pressure cooker filled with dal on the stove, the bell rang. I practically ran to the door without wiping my wet hands and pulled open the door but my heart deflated a bit when I realized it wasn't her.

"Hey" I pulled my lips into a smile and opened the door wider and let the couple before me enter.

Ravi and Niti walked into the living room with huge grins on their faces and brown paper bags in their hand.

"You look thinner!" Niti gasped as she let her eyes wander down to my toes and back to my eyes. I almost rolled my eyes. I was gone for just fifteen days and I definitely didn't think I lost any weight.

"Can't say the same about you though," I snickered while trying to create space between us. Ravi laughed loudly as he fell on one of the sofa and watched Niti smack my arm playfully.

I closed the door and settled down on the sofa opposite them as Ravi held the paper bag in air, " We brought dinner!" His eyes twinkled before he leaned forward and said, "from Cream Centre"

My eyes widened at that, " You guys, I just kept the dal on gas" while shaking my head. "Plus I'd like a home cooked meal than one from a restaurant right now"

Niti rolled her eyes as she got off the couch and walked to the dining table to get a glass of water.

"Oh come on, Aakash. You and I both know you can't say no Chole Bhature so zip your mouth shut"

I shook my head yet again as Ravi chuckled. "Plus Runi asked us to bring food along"

"She did?" I raised a brow at my school friend as he did the same.

"You didn't know?" Ravi looked at me weirdly.

Of course she couldn't just call me and tell that our friends were coming over.

"We thought it was a long time since we four went out for dinner. The last we went for Shrishti's baby shower. When was it?" Ravi turned to his wife.

"Uh, March I think" I replied instead and pushed my feet against the floor. Distracted, I walked to the wine cabinet, "Wine? You two?"

"A full glass for me!" Ravi yelled while his wife narrowed her eyes.

"None for me," she spoke while she took the food into the kitchen.

I poured red wine into two tall glasses as the doorbell rang.

Ravi was up on his feet saying he got it and opened the door.

I placed the glasses on the coffee table in the centre as I took a seat. Runi walked in with hunched shoulders and talked to Ravi with a smile on her face.

I looked away. I just.. couldn't look at her right now. Not when I felt like a stranger in my wife's life. Something wasn't settling with me.

"You got late, Runi. It is almost nine thirty. We thought you'd be here when we came" Ravi commented as he closed the door while admiring one of our painting he was fond of.

My mouth worked before I could think.

"She doesn't have habit of sharing information, you know, not even with her husband" Runi's head snapped to me.

Ravi was too busy in details to hear what I said but Runi watched me a blank face.

I sipped my wine as I kept my eyes on the T.V which was still playing on mute.

Niti walked out and hugged Runi while complaining, " I heard you came to my society and didn't come to our house!"

"Don't be surprised if she doesn't answer," I found myself saying. "She doesn't consider anyone's feeling other than her own"

My eyes darkened as both women watched me.

I stood up at once feeling my veins burn with heat. I could no longer sit here. I walked out our apartment slamming the door shut. I took a lift to the terrace and opened the door as I felt the cold air brush my skin.

It didn't make me less restless.

I let moments pass by but the hollowness in my chest refused to go away. Was I a bad husband? Could she not even share what goes on in her head with me? Are we just meant to share jokes over crappy films and sing songs and pretend that everything in our life is 'oh so good'. Does she not feel she can take my hand while she faces her fear sand battles the world.

The door to the terrace opens slightly as Ravi walks in. It's dark and cold here. Ravi holds up a lit cigarette while joining me and leaning against the wall.

"Trouble in paradise?" He asks giving me the stub.

"Big one" I sighed while taking the cigarette in my own hand.