Pursuing Our Freedom| ✓

Kabanata 34

Lifetime - Ben&Ben

Kabanata 34

Juliet's letter didn't reach Romeo in time; that simple course of event changed everything.

A piece of paper clothed in another paper could have save them both from the tragedy of their love story.

"I should probably give this po to him today..." I nibbled on my lower lip, gazing on the letter I wrote. Kahit naman patagalin ko pa ito, it will still be the same. I will still confess my feelings.

Kahit naduduwag, pinipilit na pakalmahin ang puso na tumatalbog sa kaba. I should probably stop drinking caffeine anymore.

"Philo?" he asked, umangat ang tingin ko sa kan'ya.

"K-kile, paano ka nagka-girlfriend noon?"

Kile and I are in a coffee shop. Dinalhan niya kasi ako ng mga book recommendations niya. And also, for some reason, he gave me a list of schools that are good when it comes to the credentials of the education course. Ang sabi ko sa kan'ya noon, political science ang kukuhanin ko pero duda raw siya.

Kile frowned at my question. Sa simpling itim na T-shirt at pantalon, nakukuha niya pa rin ang atensyon ng mga taong papasok sa coffee shop. Some girls even took pictures of him secretly. Kaso kitang-kita ko dahil ako ang kaharap ni Kile.

Did he also confess to her? Did he feel like his entire system is crumbling down? Kahit naman wala pa nga? Hindi pa nga nasasabi?

"Ah, di ko rin alam e." Kile puffed out his cheeks. "Honestly, sila 'yung mga umaamin. Syempre, papatulan ko naman. Ayoko naman makadagdag sa mga taong nagpapalungkot ng iba."

Hawak-hawak ko ang letter na ginawa ko no'ng isang araw. My Mom forced me to attend a two day meeting with her former contestants in Cebu. Halos buong dalawang araw ako na hindi mapakali. Kung kailan naman kasi ako naging handa, saka naman ito nangyari.

"Bakit mo ba tinatanong, Philomena?" Kile asked, glancing at the letter in my hand.

"W-wala po," sagot ko. Pilit na iniisip kung paano maibibigay kay Iscalade ang sulat. I could use a third party, but that will take more time.

I can't wait to tell him how much I yearned for him. Kung gaano siya kahalaga sa akin.

Kile smiled which made me astounded; he rarely shows his smile. Kaya naman napako ang tingin ko sa kan'yang maliit na ngiti.

"You plan on confessing to Iscalade?" mahina niyang tanong, almost trying to contain something in his throat.

"Opo," I answered. "Pero hindi ko alam paano. He's already distant towards me..."

Naduduwag ang puso ko. Ang tanging pamasak-butas ko sa aking nararamdaman ngayon ay maaaring ito na ang maging sagot sa matagal kong tanong. If the both of us will work out. Kung aamin ba ako, mananatili ba siya sa akin? Will he always be there for me? Will I have the right to call him mine?

"You just have to be a little bit braver," Kile said, feebly. Umiwas ang tingin. Tumingala at bumuntonghininga.

"I'm not even brave, Kile." Ngumiti ako nang malungkot. How can I be braver when I'm not even brave in the first place?

"Hm?" bumaling siya ng tingin sa akin, his eyes were misty for some reason. "But you are though."

"I'm not, ni hindi ko nga po masabi s-sa kanya agad 'yung nararamdaman k-ko po..." my gaze fell down, pinaglaruan ko ang dulo ng aking dress. I played with its ruffles.

"Philomena, you seem to not know what being brave is all about. Hindi ka naman agad na matapang e. You are brave enough to try. And that's already being brave."