Pursuing Our Freedom| ✓

Kabanata 3

Kabanata 3

I wonder why some people would do things to make someone stop pursuing their dreams. Ano bang nakukuha nila roon? Ano bang napapala nila sa pagpigil sa isang tao na ipagpatuloy ang kanyang pangarap? Does it satisfy them that another butterfly lost their wings and remained in their cocoon?

"Wala ka namang mapapala sa pagiging guro." Dad said, shaking his head in dismay while flipping the pages on his newspaper.

I continued eating, trying not to digest the words that he told me.

In my case, I have my parents — the exact ones who brought me in this world to stopped me from chasing my dreams. It's cruel, because the ones I should loathe the most are the people who should have been supportive for me from the start.

"Honey, that's true. Ang baba lang ng sahod nila. There are more jobs that is suitable for you! Don't settle for less, Philomena." Hinawakan pa ako ni Mom sa aking kamay, probably to offer comfort.

She was only acting this way because Dad is here. Pero pareho rin naman sila ng opinyon.

"Isn't that the problem, Mom? They are settling for less when the truth is they deserve more." I answered as polite as possible.

I know being in the teaching industry is hard, lalo na sa bansang Pilipinas. Sometimes teachers are just being driven by their passion not by their paychecks. Pero sa buhay, hindi sapat ang passion lang. Let's face it, passion cannot stand alone in this materialistic world.

But passion is like a fire that keeps on burning despite being overwhelmed by waves of criticisms. Kung tunay at puro ang umaalab sa iyong puso, ang tubig sa mga laway nila'y hindi maiibsan ang pagkalat ng apoy nito.

"Ah basta, tigil-tigilan mo 'yang pagi-isip sa education na course. Philomena, you are my daughter and I expect you to take over me. Ano na lang sasabihin ng mga kasamahan ko? Sayang naman ang pangalan natin kung hindi mo pagpapatuloy." Dad looked at his wristwatch and immediately stood up. "I have to go."

Hindi niya tinapos ang pagkain na niluto ni Mom. Mom only smiled even though Dad rudely skipped breakfast. She only continued eating and while talking to me, ignoring the fact that Dad couldn't even spare a few minutes to taste her cooking. Tanging dyaryo at kape lang ang ginalaw ni Dad.

Kumain na lamang din ako. I didn't want to pry with their issues, I know my Mom is trying her best for this family. Kaya naman ayoko na dumagdag pa.

"Mom, I have a party to go to." Paalam ko.

"Hm, kailan? Birthday nino?"

Her tone immediately dropped.

"Next week, birthday ng aso ng friend ko po." I answered.

Mom raised an eyebrow. "Hindi ba 'yan excuse lang? Are you sure?"

Tumango ako.

In the end, she agreed as long as I'll be home before 6pm.

As I thought about my parents, I always remind myself that if the relationship is already rocky from the start — I would not let any child experience this. Ayokong nakikita ng anak ko na hindi kami magka-sundo ng ama niya. No child should ever experience what I've gone through.

I hurriedly went to my class when the driver drove me off to school. I admit I was running late because I decided to finished the breakfast that Mom made. Ayoko kasi na sumama ang loob niya, my Dad already did that so the least that I could do was to eat his portion.

"Hi Philo," binati ako ni Jeremy Isabelo pagkapasok ko pa lamang ng classroom. "Okay ka lang?"

I smiled at him. "Yes po, hindi pa naman po ako late 'di ba po?"