Forever and Always, Loki

13.

Loki's POV
I quickly walked back to my room. I was so eager to see Rey, I missed her dearly this whole day. I kept thinking about her every minute and now I get to see her finally. 

I quickly opened and closed the door of our room and walked in. Usually, she would be jumping into my arms by now, but currently she was sitting on the chair looking outside the window, not moving a muscle.

"Rey my darling? I'm back" I said.

She still didn't move. She stayed glued on the chair with her gaze fixed outside.

"Rey?" Maybe she hasn't heard me.

I walked towards her and saw her cheeks were gleaming with tears.

"Rey what happened? Are you alright?" I asked. I got worried.

Pause.

"Do you love me?" her hoarse voice asked, still not making any eye contact with me.

"Yes, of course I do," I said, kneeling beside her. Did she not believe me when I told her countless times every day?

"Truly?" she softly whispered, still not looking at me.

"Truly, everyday" I said.

She turned her head and looked at me. I noticed her eyes were red and watered.

"Then why did you lie?" She said a little harshly.

"What?"

"Why did you lie?" she said a little louder.

"Lie? I don't know what you mean" I said, I searched her eyes in worry.

She got up from her chair and ripped off her sleeve on her left forearm, revealing her long scar.

"You've already seen it before. You saw at it and you never told me!" she said louder, now looking straight at my face. Her tears kept coming down and she didn't even bother wiping them.

My heart immediately fell. Oh gods.

"How did you find out?" I asked.

"Thor told me,".

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

"Why did you do that?" she asked, her voice breaking.

"I first met you, I didn't know what it was so I ... looked at it" I said, my voice now getting small.

"But why didn't you tell me?"

"I knew you would get upset, you were in pain, I just ... I couldn't tell you" I explained looking at her.

"You don't think I'm hurt right now? You don't think I'm in pain?! Look into my eyes! I'm hurt!" she yelled as she pointed to her eyes.

It felt as if a knife went through my heart. I knew I never wanted to see her this way. I didn't know it but the tears were coming down on me too.

"You lied to me this whole time Loki. You know how personal this is to me, you knew how I felt about this, and you still lied! You. Lied."

"I'm sorry -," I came up to her but she cut me off and backed away.

"Sorry? You're sorry?! I said I loved you! I loved you! But Loki ... you lied. This whole time, when you said you loved me, you were lying"

"I never lied about loving you ever" I said. It was true and I needed her to understand that.

"You still kept it from me" she clearly said.

I didn't say anything back. That was true too. We didn't say anything for a moment until she spoke.

"I need you to go," she said, daring to not  look at me again.

What was she saying? Did she not love me anymore?

"Rey ... please don't do this" I said with more tears streaming.

"No Loki. You did this" she whispered still looking at the ground as tears fell.

"Rey, I'm so sorry. Please Rey, we can fix this, we'll make this better" I said coming near her, placing my hands on her arms.

She didn't say anything back. Nor did she look at me. She needed to look at me.

I kneeled down in front of her, something I would have never in life have done, grabbed both of her hands and sobbed like I've never cried before.

"Please Rey. Look at me please. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry Rey. Oh gods I'm sorry. Rey please" I said as I cried into her soft hands begging for forgiveness. She still couldn't look at me.

"Go" her tiny voice whispered.

I couldn't let her go. I couldn't leave her. I just couldn't, it seemed impossible. But I had to, the only way she was to recover was space. I gave it to her.

I slowly stood up, still holding her hands and looking at her. She looked to the left, she couldn't even bear to look at me, that broke my heart.

She started to cry even harder, not making any sounds but her tears streamed uncontrollably, I knew she was very hurt.

"Loki please go, please leave" she said with her voice all quavering and unsteady.

I looked down at her hands, understandingly nodded, and slowly released her hands as I walked out of the room, with my heart crushed.