To Learn to Let Go | ✔

Chapter 34

We sat in the waiting room for hours with no word on Mr. Rodriguez's condition. Trent was a mess, pacing the room and constantly going outside to smoke. I tried to get him to calm down, to sit with me for a bit, but he would sit down and then almost immediately get back up.

"Trent, this pacing is not going to help anything. Can you please calm down?"

"My dad might die, Gray."

"I know. But right now, what happens is out of your control."

"And that's the fucking problem!" He shouted, causing everyone in the waiting room to look at us.

"Baby, please. I know how you feel, trust me. It sucks, and it's so infuriating to know that you can't do anything about the situation you're in. But please just come sit with me, take some deep breaths, and talk to me." Trent sighed but came and sat with me.

"I hate feeling helpless. I felt this was after my mom died and I swore I would never be in this situation again."

"I love you so much, but that's just not possible. You will go through hard times, and times when you feel helpless, and times where things are out of your control. Pain is an inevitable part of life, but we don't have to let it destroy us."

"What can I do?"

"Just sit, take deep breaths, talk with me or play a game on your phone, read a book? Stewing in your fear and your negativity is not going to help."

"Did Dr. Meyer teach you that?" Trent smirked.

"She might have," I said defensively. Trent put his head on my shoulder. I started running my fingers through his hair and I kissed him on the head. He seemed to relax into my touch and in a few minutes he was asleep. I sat perfectly still, scrolling through my phone while I waited for a doctor to come out or for Trent to wake up. It was maybe an hour and a half later when a doctor started approaching us. I nudged Trent to wake him up.

"Hey Trent," the doctor said. His nametag read Dr. Ryan Hagan. He must be friends with Trent's dad, because he seemed to know him.

"How is he?" Trent asked, fear in his eyes.

"He's going to be okay. He drank himself into a heart attack. Does he always drink like that?"

"No, never!" He quickly defended his dad.

It's funny how the cycle of abuse works. People always criticize victims for not leaving, not speaking up about their abuser. It's not so easy. You feel like it's your fault, like you deserve it. Your abuser is someone who you cared about, or at one time did. A father, a mother, a grandparent, a family friend. How do you speak up about something that would potentially ruin that person's life? Especially when they're the only family you really have, and you rely on them to survive. I understood Trent lying for his dad. I did it multiple times for Adam. But my heart broke for him. He has an out, he just has to ask for help.

"Really? Because he has liver damage consistent with chronic alcohol abuse."

"No, my dad doesn't drink a lot. Maybe a glass of wine with dinner, but never a lot."

"Trent. Don't lie to me. I'm a doctor, I've known you for half of your life. I've seen your dad at parties. Is he like that all the time?"

"Look, I moved out of his house anyway, so it doesn't matter," he sighed.

"You moved out? Are you even 18 yet?"

"I will be Friday."

"Trent, what is going on?"