To Learn to Let Go | ✔

Chapter 20

No one ever teaches you how to deal with a traumatic situation. No parent ever sits their child down and says, 'here's what to do if you're the victim of a violent crime,' they just don't. Everyone likes to assume that bad things can never happen to them, they live in a world of blissful ignorance where everything is sunshine and rainbows. Then, when tragedy strikes, we are stuck trying to figure out how to pick up the pieces of our now broken lives. How do you pick up the pieces of a life so shattered? And how do you begin to put them back together? My life felt like a million-piece puzzle, and I had no glue to hold it all together. Just when I managed to put some of it back together, someone came and shoved the puzzle off the table.

That's what it felt like going back to school on Monday. My therapy session with Dr. Meyer had actually helped, some of my pieces were put back into place. The minute Trent and I walked into school on Monday, those pieces were shattered on the floor, into tinier pieces than they were before. I could feel every eye in that building trained on me, the whispers may as well have been screams they rang so loud. I got halfway down the hallway when I broke my hand loose from Trent's grip and ran into the bathroom, locking myself in a stall. I heard Trent's frantic footsteps behind me and his desperate pleas for me to come back, but I ignored him. That didn't stop him from following me into the bathroom, where he sat himself down on the opposite side of the door I was locked behind.

"Gray, come on," he begged. I sniffled and wiped my runny nose with my sleeve.

"I c-can't go out there," I cried.

"Grayson, they don't know what really happened, they're just spreading rumors."

"It was in e-every paper, o-on every news b-broadcast."

"Your name was never mentioned."

"It d-didn't have to be! Enough p-people recognized my h-house on the news."

"All they know is that Adam was arrested on sexual assault charges, they don't know who he assaulted, they don't know shit. They're making up rumors and drawing conclusions and at the end of the day all it does is say how shitty they are as people, it doesn't affect you, only if you let it." Does he even realize who he's dating? "I know, it's real rich coming from me. But you can do this babe, you can go out there, and you can face them. Just hold your head high, and don't let them see you cry." I shook with sobs, there was no way I could face everyone.

"I c-can't," I cried. "Every t-time I hear a whisper, or s-see them stare I'm going to h-have a panic attack."

"Every time they whisper or stare, just think about something that makes you happy, that makes you feel like you can take on the world. Their words can't hurt you as long as you have that thing or that person." I opened the bathroom door and turned to face Trent.

"You kn-know that's you, right?" A small smile spread across his face.

"And you know you make me happy too, right?" My turn to smile. "Grayson you are so strong, you have faced so much more than asshole high school kids. And you will always have me. I promise if I hear anyone talking about you today, I'll kick the shit out of them. We're going to get through all of this, together."

"I trust you," I sighed, locking eyes with Trent and smiling as I got lost in his emerald eyes.

"Come on, let's get you to bio." He stood up and held out his hand for mine, helping to pull me up as I put my hand in his. We walked through the halls hand in hand, and I still couldn't help but notice everyone's stares. The weight on my chest had returned, and I was finding it harder and harder to breathe. When I noticed Kyle stomping his way toward us, I began to feel lightheaded.