To Learn to Let Go | ✔

Chapter 26

"We unanimously find the defendant, Adam Baker... guilty of all charges."

Suddenly, it was like I had come up for air. I breathed a sigh of relief that took all of my anxiety, all of my pain with it. I heard claps coming from my parents and Trent and the various others in the courtroom, the police officers, the paramedics. Katrina hugged me and I was too happy to push her away. Adam was going to jail, and after six long years I was going to have justice.

"Adam Baker, you have been found guilty of sexual assault of a minor. You will return to this court on May 8th for sentencing. You will be held at the Rahway prison until such time. Court adjourned." Judge Mason said. After she and the jury exited, I got up and ran to Trent, jumping up into his arms. I glanced over at Adam and he was glaring at me, hate in his eyes. I just turned my back to him, placing my hand in Trent's and exiting the courtroom.

I didn't have to show up for the sentencing, thank God. I heard however, that he got the maximum sentence possible and Judge Mason completely ripped him a new asshole. I kind of wished I had been there for that. But Dr. Meyer and I both agreed it would be best for me to not be there. Court took a toll on me, I found immense strength during my testimony but the anxiety leading up and just the stress of it all left me in a depression. Dr. Meyer said that was normal. Everything was over, and now I didn't know what to do with myself, what to devote my time to, my body didn't know how to not be on high alert. I had to relearn how to live a normal life.

"Hey Trent?" I said one Friday night as we were cuddling in my bed. It was a few weeks after the trial and the sentencing, and we were just having a quiet movie night.

"Yeah babe?"

"Thank you," I whispered.

"For what?"

"For saving me, for stopping Kyle from beating me up that day, for insisting that you give me a ride home that day. I was so scared back then, so afraid to let anyone in, but you never gave up on me." By this point I had completely stopped stuttering around Trent, and almost completely stopped in most situations as well. Dr. Meyer and I had worked extensively with a speech therapist to determine why I was stuttering. It turned out to all be psychological, of course, and a few techniques she taught me were able to help stop the stutter.

"I just knew I had to fight for you. I knew we needed each other."

"You needed me?"

"Of course, I wouldn't be who I am today without you. I'm actually passing all my classes; I haven't used since we met. You really brought out the good in me, you gave me a reason to want to be better. I haven't felt this way since my mom was alive."

"What way?" I asked. Trent turned so he was looking right at my eyes. After all these months, I still melt every time his emerald eyes stare into mine.

"Happy." He simply stated.

"I love you, Trent." I blurted out before I could stop myself. I really didn't mean to say it, of course I was thinking it, but I was usually so much better at controlling the filter between my brain and my mouth. But the words just fell out, and I couldn't take them back. My chest tightened as I waited for Trent's reply. His eyes were wide, and his jaw was on the floor. He wasn't saying anything and that made my panic grow. I pushed my way out of his arms and sat up in bed, trying so hard to take a steady breath but failing as I gasped, my chest heaving with each shallow breath.

"Grayson, it's okay, please calm down," Trent begged, rubbing circles in my back.

"I'm s-sorry, I shouldn't have s-said that!" I managed to get out between gasps. How could I be so stupid?