Circles | Eren x Reader

Chapter 44- Potluck Plans:

(Y/N)'s POV:

I arrived the next morning at school and was greeted at my locker by small group of friends, Jean included.

"(Y/N)!" Sasha waved me over. "Ymir's birthday is in a few days and we were wondering if you wanted to come to dinner with us—" Ymir shot her a glare and Sasha laughed awkwardly, backing down.

Connie didn't realize Ymir's threatening glare, and continued for Sasha: "Well, she doesn't want a party exactly... but Historia insisted that we celebrate."

"We decided on a potluck," Ymir said sourly. "I hate celebrating my birthday, but since these two had to bring it up," she motioned towards Sasha and Connie, "that's what we're going to do."

"Sounds fun," I said quickly. It seemed that Ymir had forgotten the whole thing with Jean being drunk on the phone. I decided that I'd ask her about it later anyway.

"What should we bring, Ymir?" Marco asked politely.

"I don't care. Sasha and Connie will eat everything anyway. Why don't you ask them?" she replied apathetically, arms crossed over her chest.

"What are your thoughts on lemons?" Jean asked. He was standing across from me uncomfortably, his hazel eyes reflecting the sunlight coming through the window. I still hadn't gotten used to the space that was now in between our relationship, and wanted to talk to him desperately. Of course, I had always hesitated. I didn't want to make things more complicated. Thankfully, things had improved a bit: Jean seemed to be less stiff when he was near me, and he made eye contact when we spoke now. But that would never be enough... I wanted to be close to him again. Realizing where I was going, I snapped out of my train of thought and turned my attention back towards Ymir.

"Eh?" she raised an eyebrow at Jean's question.

"I'm a bit short on cash right now," Jean hesitated, "and the only free food I can get are the lemons growing in my backyard."

"You're joking, right?" Ymir said. The rest of us watched anxiously.

"... No."

"Just make something, dipshit. It's not that hard. I'm sure you don't have to pay for your own groceries, so use those."

"Erm..." Jean scratched his head and stared down at the floor. "I've lost my cooking privileges as of late."

Ymir slapped her forehead and rolled her eyes, "Jean, seriously? You had one job. ONE JOB!" she raised her fist. Jean cringed, accepting his fate.

Just then, Historia waltzed in. "Hello everyone! How are you all doing?"

Ymir immediately softened. She dropped her fist, "Wonderful, Historia, now that you're here."

Jean exhaled in relief. Historia had saved him. Just to be safe though, he increased the distance between himself and Ymir.

"So when and where is the party?" Ymir glared at me. "Er... uh, the potluck?" I corrected. She relaxed a bit.

"Thursday," said Historia brightly.

"Thursday?!" Jean asked incredulously.

Historia turned pink and stared down at the floor. "Well, Ymir invited me to go on a trip with her on Friday to Sunday, so Thursday was the only day I could plan for."

Sasha and Connie looked at each other with a knowing expression. They whispered something I couldn't make out and started giggling. Ymir overheard them and turned scarlet.

I tried to break the prolonged awkward silence between everyone as they tried to guess what Ymir had planned for her 'trip' with Historia. The bell rang before I could speak, which, in all honesty, was the better alternative.

Ymir cursed at Sasha and Connie under her breadth as we walked into class and took our seats. Eren was already at his desk; he avoided my gaze. That's unfortunate.

I was getting tired of these long breaks of silence that occurred after Eren and I talked. It seemed to be a repeating pattern. An interesting conversation, a very long break; another interesting conversation, an even longer break. Of course, this time it was expected. Last time we talked... I, uh, kissed him. Or was it the other way around? I couldn't remember. As much as I'd like to push the awkwardness aside, this was real life— and in real life, people ignored each other.

Shadis' class passed by extremely slowly. Every so often I'd catch myself staring at Eren from the back of the class, watching the string of his hoodie hang out of his mouth. Sometimes, he'd swirl his tongue around so it moved to the other side. I hate to admit it, but it was very attractive. Eren had many attractive mannerisms... I'm not sure how I could ignore them so easily before. When he was really focused, he'd frown just slightly and bite his lower lip. When he was annoyed with Mikasa he'd roll his bright teal-green eyes and run his hand through his hair while looking at the ceiling. He took off his hoodie in the hot way— the one where you crossed your arms in the front and pull it over your head in one swoop. When he was sitting on wide benches, he'd always put one arm up on the back seat like he was holding an invisible person. On occasion, I'd seen him absentmindedly put almost the entire hoodie string in his mouth, and it would drop out tied in a knot. Tell me that's not impressive. He had this intensity around him that I couldn't explain, and it was getting harder and harder to push aside the longer I was away from Jean and the closer I was to Eren.

To my chagrin, my gaze would also swerve towards Jean. I felt guilty switching from boy to boy to admire each one. Although neither of them were mine, it still seemed like cheating. Every time the two were in a room together, I felt uneasy. Why did I feel like I had to choose? Jean was so out of reach that it would be ridiculous to even try— and Eren... well, he was Eren. There's really nothing more to say.

While I was fixating on Jean, I remembered something: I need to talk to Ymir about the last time they hung out.