Circles | Eren x Reader

Chapter 55- The Bakery (Eren's POV):

Eren's POV:

It was finally time to close. People had been flooding in and out of the bakery all night, tired from long weeks at work and needing something sweet. I rang up the final customer and ducked my head behind the counter to grab some cleaning supplies. I heard the bell on the door jingle, signaling they had left. I sighed to myself, wondering how long it was going to take for me to close. It was already so late. Suddenly, I heard the bell jingle again. I popped my head up quickly to see who it was.

"Do you love me?" (Y/N) looked at me with desperate eyes.

I stopped, avoiding her gaze, my eyes drawn to the white blanket she clutched in her hand. Damn you, Eren, I cursed to myself. If only I had just let (Y/N) freeze...

I noticed that I still hadn't spoken. I tried to find the words, but could think of nothing to say. I wasn't prepared for that kind of question— or this kind of confrontation either, for that matter. It was very unlike (Y/N) to be so forward towards something trivial like this. Why didn't she turn her back on it, like before?

"Why?" she asked. I stared up at her face. It was flushed with color, and her expression was painted with anguish and confusion. Her head was titled towards me and her eyes burned into mine.

"I—" I pushed my hair out of my eyes and looked towards the floor. I didn't want to see her face when I said it: "If I knew the answer to that, I probably would've found a way to stop liking you."

I heard (Y/N) take a step towards me. "But, I thought you hated me," she said.

I timidly raised my eyes to meet hers. "I don't."

We paused for a moment, taking in each other's appearances, trying to understand the other. Why would you come here, (Y/N)? Why couldn't you just leave it?

... It's too late to ask that, Armin said. Try to resolve what's happening now.

Too late to ask? I felt anger welling up inside me. Why could I never get an answer from her?!

It seemed like, in no matter what situation, (Y/N) always had the upper hand. What I did to her meant nothing, because my love was one-sided. Whether she had noticed or not, I was wrapped around her finger. She had beaten me so many times, changing my mood in a second. How many times had she left me feeling broken? How could I give her this power over me? I knew it was because of my feelings for her, and the fact that those feelings would never be reciprocated. I knew I was fighting a losing battle. I knew that no matter how hard I tried to beat her, she would always prevail.

And it made me angry.

I knew that if I gave up here and pushed her away, I would win. It would be over and the small amount of dignity I had would survive. If I was lucky, which I hoped I was, maybe she'd feel broken for once, too. Maybe, even if she didn't care about me at all, she'd still feel a tinge of something.

(Y/N) broke the silence between us, snapping me out of my trance. "Then, what now?"

I pulled myself away from her gaze, picking up the cleaning supplies and beginning to wipe down the counter. "Nothing now. You can go home," I replied. This was how things had to be done. This was the only way I could restore my pride.

"But—"

"(Y/N), don't bother. I already know how you feel about me." I already know that you don't like me, but you enjoy pulling my heartstrings nonetheless. I already know that I've always been a nuisance.

I already know that I don't have a chance.

"Eren, how could you possibly—"

"Because I've been with you! I've seen it!" I yelled, flashing my head upwards. "I don't need you to reject me! I get it!" I already know how you feel.

(Y/N) had never let me get close to her. She would always be the one to turn me down. I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of being able to reject me again.

Stop pretending that you care! Please, just let me have this! Let me be the one to reject you.

She tried to speak again: "You're wr—"

"Just stop! I'm so tired of this!" I complained. "I'll leave you alone now, okay?! I'm sorry! Just forget this ever happened." I bowed my head in defeat. While I considered my rejection a victory, my inability to get (Y/N) to like me was a devastating loss.

"I don't—" she started.

"Please," I whispered.

(Y/N) paused to stare at me. I watched her face heat up with rage and her eyes begin to flood with tears. Suddenly, she threw my blanket across the room at me. I watched it sink into the floor beside my feet.

"Fine! I'll go!" she screamed, grabbing the door. "You're going to regret this, Yeager! This time, I'm not going to forgive you!" She slammed the glass closed behind her and I watched as her figure disappeared into the darkness.

Can I really count this as a win?