I'm Just Dancing

Milkshakes

Ryan POV

I've said a lot of things tonight that I'm not sure I mean and I have no clue how I would even begin to apologize for them. Some of them I did mean though, when is it my turn to be Ryan Evans instead of Sharpay's brother or part of the pair. I don't even really know who I am, what I like, what I want to do.

Everyone else assumes it's theatre. Maybe they are right? But there are so many more pieces to a theatre than just actors. Sharpay knows she wants to be a star. Maybe I want to be a choreographer, I've been having fun doing that for East even if it's exhausting. Or maybe I wanna be a manager, help others be stars, I know I'm good at it. Or a director? What if I don't want to do theatre at all, I haven't tried too much else?

I love my sister, I do, but she makes it hard for me to be my own person. Or maybe I make it hard and blame it on her.

This whole time I've just been sitting in the car in our garage, I never even pulled out. I don't even like driving that much, it just seems like a way to cool down, in movies driving seems to heal. Short drives heal anger, road trips heal existential crises.

But I have school tomorrow and therefore no time to drive across the country to try and find myself. Especially since I know where I am, it's not L.A., or New York, or even Chicago. I'm right here in Albuquerque, New Mexico, hiding in my car.

Milkshakes?

Sharpay appears in the garage only a couple minutes later and climbs into the passenger seat. I stay quiet for the first part of the drive, but once we are through the drive-thru and parked in the Baskin-Robbins' parking lot I crack.

"I'm sorry I acted so crazy today, I'm just really freaked out about all of this. I mean, all of it. The Troy thing, college applications coming up, I just..." I don't know, everything feels so overwhelming.

"Ry," She takes a sip and then angles a little bit to look at me, "I get it, it's frustrating that they are coming in now and messing everything up. But that isn't all that's going on here."

"What?" I nearly choke trying to swallow and just look at her.

"You know exactly what, I've seen you handle stress, I've seen you talk to agents and Dad's friends at the country club. I'm not dumb. This isn't just the play or college. I can't force you to tell me but know that I know it's something." I try to think of anything I can say, but really I don't know why I don't want to tell her. Maybe part of me wants to protect Chad from any plans she pulls. Maybe I don't want her to try and tell me it was anything more than friendly as if I'd want something like that. Maybe I just like having a secret.

"Chad Danforth," I say flatly, chewing on my straw.

"Troy's goon? What about him?" Then I see it click in her head, "What did he do to you?" I really didn't think it was possible to sound murderous around a mouthful of Reese's shake.

So I give in, it's not like there is much to tell. A three-month friendship that started with an unfortunate slip at a Halloween party and ended in me being ignored. Of course, I don't leave out some of the juicier details, like running up the phone bill texting literally all night for the first few days, or how I know where he lives. I even had my phone over to Sharpay so she can read every last message.

"Ryan, oh my god. We are gonna talk later about some of those messages." She hands me the phone back and catches my eyes. "For right now, though, I will come up with something. These lunks will ruin our play over my dead body."