Butterfly || Jin

24 - Melancholy (TW)

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"A home you can never return"

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Things went back to how it used to be. The members are busy with their schedules while Jin himself has been going in and out of the hospital.

It is not because he is sick though, it is because he, like promised, went to visit little Seungyeon. He has been particularly good at keeping his promise to Seungyeon.

Well, Jin is always the person he is, fulfilling his promise.

Right, about Bangtan? Not like Jin himself promise a forever with Bangtan though so it is not his fault that the public and medias keep targeting him as a backstabber that broke his promised.

But still, Jin agreed with the fact that he is a backstabber. He left them. What is more to add to that? The action speaks loud enough for everyone.

Jin left because he didn't want to suffer, because he wanted to be happy but at the end of the day, it seems like a mistake. Is it really a mistake?

Years after he left the group, Jin began to realise the only reason he was not that lost when he was in Bangtan. It was because the busy daily life of him as Bangtan Jin that he forgets his problem. Not all the problem but still, he did forget something sometimes.

Epiphany struck him harder when after he left Bangtan, he is all alone. All alone with his thoughts and he is not busy compared to how he used too.

That thoughts win against him multiple times. He is embarrassed, he really do when the members know what he did to himself.

Just how weak of a person he is in front of everyone?

Again, after all, he is the only one who needs hold himself all alone. He makes that choice.

Truth to be told, he was delighted when he knew the members stayed behind when he was at the hospital. At that time, he kind of scared of them, of their reaction to him.

He didn't want to get yelled at. He didn't want to hear the hatred words coming out of their mouth. He didn't want them to tell him to disappear.

It hurts him, the word disappear.

It was like the members never need him in the first place. It was like his existence alone is the fault that everything bad happened.

When people meet him, they suffered. That was and still is how Jin thinks of. But, he himself also suffer, so who's fault is that?

Anyway, back to where it takes place, it is now the third time Jin comes to the hospital with fried chicken in his hand for Seungyeon. The kid sure loves fried chicken so much.

Jin slowly makes his way to the kid's room from the lobby of the hospital. It is actually he-didn't-know-how-many times he came to the hospital for Seungyeon since he was discharged.

Most of the time, Jin went to the hospital at the evening as that was the time when Seungyeon's mother will leave for her works since she works for the night shift.

So Jin usually comes right before Seungyeon's mother left for her work. He always greet her before she left for her work and she also greets him back.

To be very honest, she is thankful for Jin. She is thankful and grateful for Jin. They are in fact a stranger to each other. They have no blood connection at all but Jin is always there with Seungyeon.

"Go home safe later" she says to Jin everyday when they both greet each other.

Jin is always there with Seungyeon for dinner until the younger fell asleep. That is how it works for Jin everyday. Sometimes Jin did fell asleep at the hospital too like an overnight event.