TWD ~ Daryl + Reader ~

The Regret

You wake up an hour before sunrise, just like your Pops programmed you to do. Only, you act like you're still asleep. You don't want to think about what you did last night. You don't want to acknowledge where you are. You don't want to look at Negan. You don't even want to look at yourself. 

You wait to get up until Negan has already kissed your forehead and left the room to go on with his daily activities of running his Dictatorship. But even after he leaves, you stay in bed.

The thoughts from last night play through your mind. His lips. His ginger touch. You not feeling a thing from it. It did its purpose and made your broken thoughts go away, but other than that nothing. His body moving with yours did nothing. You feel nothing towards him.

'God, I can't believe I thought I felt something for him.' Your mind wines as your hands cover your face. 'Jesus was right.'

. . .

. . . two days after the last time Negan was at Hilltop . . . 

*Knock knock* 

"(Y/N), it's me." Jesus quietly speaks through the door. "I brought you some food. Can I bring it in?"

You don't acknowledge Jesus' words or even move out of bed, not even when the door opens. You hear Jesus walk around your room and set the tray of food down on your desk. 

"(Y/N)," He says once more as he walks towards your bed, "you have to eat something." You continue to be silent. "(Y/N)." Jesus' hand grabs your shoulder and you instantly jump up from your bed and move away from him. 

Jesus' wide eyes follow your scared movements. He cautiously stands from the bed and walks around, keeping an eye on you as he does so to make sure you don't run. He gets close enough to reach out and touch you, but as he tries you drop to the floor.

"Don't touch me!" You tell at him. "Stay away!" You wrap your arms around your knees and teeter back and forth with tears running down your face. "Please don't touch me."

"Okay," Jesus says in a platonic voice. "I won't touch you, but I'm not going to leave you either."

. . . 

Since Jesus refused to leave you, unless to get you food or water, he was around you 24/7 for five days straight. The last full day he spent with you he caught you reading the letter Negan left you and snatched it from you. 

"He left this for you?" He says while partially crumbling the letter.

"Yes, do you have a problem with it?" You ask while trying to grab the letter from him.

"Why did you keep it?"

"Because it's mine, now give it back." Jesus holds it above your head, making you reach for it.

"You didn't keep it as a reminder of him, did you?" 

You stop reaching for the letter. "No, I-"

"You're lying." Jesus looks at you with wide eyes as he drops his arm. "You do understand what kind of person he is right? He kills people for fun. He took your brother and Emmett."

"He has his reasons-"

"Like what? To keep his people alive?"

"Yes."

"People like the guy that tried to rape you?"

"Negan stopped him!" Anger starts to build inside you.

"Negan probably told him to do that, so he could save you." 

Your anger immediately leaves you. "What?"

"Think about it (Y/N), he's never let any of his men be alone with you until he brought that Michael guy." Your mind starts to piece it together. "You might not see it right now because you think he's your knight in shining armor, but he's not. He's the monster that your future knight will slay." Jesus finishes crumbling the letter into a ball and throws it onto your desk. "Keep that letter if you want, but it's full of lies."