Is It The Truth?

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As Daryl gets to the last few steps he sees Jesus coming out of Gregory's office. Daryl's first thought is to jump him and ask questions about your panic attacks, just to further his trust in what you told him. But another part of him didn't want to pry. However, he has other questions about Sasha and Rosita not being in his trailer earlier, so why not.


Jesus is just about to open the front door of Barrington House when Daryl says his name. Immediately after hearing his name being called Jesus turns to face the stairs where Daryl is coming down from the last one with a strangely pale face. 

"Is everything okay?"

Daryl approaches Jesus slowly, his words as cautious as his steps. "You've known (Y/N) for about a year and a half right?"

"Almost two," Jesus crosses his arms, "why?"

"So you've seen her in all of her different moods." Jesus looks a little puzzled. "Like when she's really happy or really sad, or when she's having panic attacks."

"Yeah, I guess so-"

Daryl's eyes get wide with his next question. "What are the things you've seen or heard of her doing in order to get out of one of her panic or anxiety attacks?"

"Why do you want to know?" Jesus quickly begins to worry about you, "Is (Y/N) having a panic attack right now?"

"No, no she's not, it's just something that she said got me wondering-"

Jesus' worry gets replaced by confusion even faster than his worry arouse. "Why don't you just ask her?"

"She-" Daryl stops himself. He wonders if you've told Jesus about what you did with Negan or if you were keeping it a secret from everyone. Though his anger towards what you did is riled up inside him, he won't tell anyone about what you did until you come clean about it first. "She lied to me, and I want to know the truth."

"Alright," Jesus says hesitantly. "I guess I can tell you then, but only for her sake. And do not tell her I told you." Daryl just nods then Jesus continues. "The first time I saw her have a panic attack was on her first day here in Hilltop, her brother noticed it right after I did, he hugged her and didn't let her go no matter how hard she pushed at him. Seeing her cry was not something he was good at handling back then, now he doesn't seem to care at all." Jesus walks slowly past Daryl and sits in one of the chairs in the hall. "I know she had them frequently, especially when she was alone in her room here in Barrington House. She would come out of her original room with blood dripping from her fingers, where she would stab them with something repeatedly until she got herself out of her own head." Daryl sits in the chair next to him, which makes Jesus turn sideways to face him. "You see her panic attacks are like a mix of her not being able to get out of her own thoughts and all of those thoughts are just negativity on top of negativity. So she just tries to get herself out of them any way possible." Jesus looks down at his folded hands. "A week after Negan took Andy she had a really bad one. It must've taken her a while to get out of it, because when she got done seeing Harlan she had a bandage on each finger on her left hand, had a splint on one, and had blood on the shoulder part of her shirt."

"She cut her arm to get out of her own here?" Daryl said with wide eyes filled with surprise and all Jesus did at first was nod. "Shit-"

"She's had some weird shit to get out of her own mind. She walked out of our gates and went straight for a group of walkers, the only reason she didn't get bit was that me and some of the other guys here went out and killed the walkers then brought her back in." Daryl remembers the supply run you went on with him. "There was also another time that she just pulled me into a long kiss to get out of one as well." Daryl's mind goes blank and his eyes go wide. "Yeah, I know." Jesus snickers a little.

"So, pain or a type of intimacy can get her out of one of her panic attacks?"

"Pretty much." Jesus nods and stands up from the chair.

All Daryl can think about is that you were actually telling him the truth. You actually used Negan to get out of one of your panic attacks, and that doesn't mean you have feelings for him, seeing how you kissed Jesus before. Then he's left with himself wondering why he's still overly mad at you.


Daryl slightly shakes his thoughts and stands up from the chair. He sees Jesus just about to leave again. Daryl walks over to Jesus and finally asks his original question.

"Where's Sasha and Rosita?"

Jesus gives Daryl and sheepish smile then tells him everything.

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~A/N~

If you are confused please leave a comment. Also please vote. And as always thank you for reading.

All the Love.

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