When the morning comes

43 | lake filled with tears

Benjamin miserably laid on Nonna's couch. With a cold, wet dishcloth stuffed underneath his shirt as he didn't want to take it off, he stared into the distance, a trace on tears on his cheeks. Finger in his mouth. Nose runny. I wiped his hair off his forehead, but he pushed me away.

Wanted Nonna's comfort only. Maybe, because she was a woman. Had a strong, motherly warmth while taking care of him. I let it be. Watched helplessly. "Do you think we should go to the first aid?"

Nonna shook her head, babbled something in Italian to Benjamin. She opened a drawer, reached for some natural ointments and other things I'd had no idea of what it was, but seemed familiar still because of Aurora. She removed the cloth, inspected Benjamin's belly and put on another one. "Is okay, figlio." She gave me a sad smile.

"Can I do something?"

"Think ragazzo need some sleep, yes?"

Benjamin nodded, still miserably. She kissed his face softly. I watched how Benjamin closed his eyes. Nonna sat down beside him on the couch, her hand upon his cheek as she started singing a song in Italian. Benjamin crawled closer beside her, clearly in need of comfort.

I slouched back onto a chair. Watched the bitter-sweet moment. Knowing he'd pushed me away for a reason.

When Benjamin had fallen asleep, I made my way over, crouched down beside him. His belly was still red, heat radiated off it, but the cloth seemed to cool it down. I didn't dare lifting up his shirt, afraid it would be stuck to his skin. "That will turn into a nasty blister."

"My bad, figlio. I am sorry." Giulia said sadly, stuffing the coffee table full with chocolates and biscuits for Benji whenever he'd wake up.

"It's not your fault." I searched eye contact, but she avoided. "Accidents happen."

She pursed her lips, silently turned to the kitchen to retrieve something to drink. When we both had a damping cappuccino resting on our thighs, I noticed something was off about her behaviour. She let out a deep sigh, smiled sadly at Matteo as he entered the house.

"How's Cowboy?"

"Asleep. Fine. Will be okay." Giulia nodded, resting her hand on his leg as he sat down beside her. The silence was tensed. I wondered what had happened. Everything had seemed fine before.

I sipped my cappuccino, waited for either of them to speak up, but they didn't.

"Have you.." Giulia hesitantly said after a long, painful moment of silence, tears slipping out of her eyes. I swallowed. Matthew's eyes showed pain. Though, he smiled. "Figlio.. Benjamin, he can sleep over."

A frown creased my forehead. "Oh, he will wake up. I'll take him with me."

Matthew and Giulia exchanged looks. "We think.. you need some time."

"What do you mean?"

"Some time to think. Alone." Matthew took a deep breath, ran his hands over his face. "I think there's lots going on in your head."

"I've had plenty of time to think." I hesitated. Wondered where they were leading to with their words. "Too much, actually."

"Amore, please." They insisted. I quietly collected my stuff and left their place.

Whilst focusing on the road, I let my eyes roam over my surroundings, too. Trying to enjoy myself. Trying to enjoy the view of the lake resting between the mountains, the sun already hidden behind them. But my eyes deceived me, pushing me to think of the expression on Mamma and Papà's faces. What'd happened?

The city and the villages I drove through started to become more lively, many searching for a place to fill themselves with supper, some starting the wines, other dancing to live bands. Live here was so different from England.