When the morning comes

51 | paintings

Aurora had been in an immense lot of pain. She was seated upon the couch, hunched up, with her hands pressed against her lower stomach. Her eyes were squeezed closed, tears seeping through.

It was late, I had just put Benjamin to bed. The moment I stepped down into the living room, Aurora sat up straight, forced a smile, hoped I hadn't seen her like that. "Zev.." I sat down beside her, felt how her breathing hitched, I knew it was because of the pain.

"You don't have to hide your pain for me."

"What do you mean?" Aurora leaned back, held a cushion close to her chest while she tried to look at the falling raindrops outside the window. Her eyes were sunken deep, her face was pale, but the skin underneath her eyes had a dull, purple shade. A mustard yellow knitted hat on top of her head, which still wasn't completely bald- but spots of baldness had spread out more and more.

"Amore.."

"Sole, I'm fine. I don't know what you mean." She let out, a little frustrated. I smiled painfully, knowing that she would have the Italian mentality until she would be gone. I wrapped my arms around her neck, rested my head upon her shoulder.

Her thin body felt fragile, her hands were shaky because of her fading strength. I closed my eyes while she brushed my face with her bony, but soft fingers. "Is Campione asleep?"

"Not really. A lot on his mind, I suppose." We heard him walking around in his room.

A deep, shaky sigh. I reached for the cushion, wanting to embrace her fully, but something held her back. "What is it, Aurora?"

"Nothing. I'm just cold." She held onto the cushion a little tighter. I stood up, picked up one of the blankets we had thrown in a rush basket. When I reached for the cushion, Aurora pulled it back. I gave her a questionable look.

"Let it be, Sole. I just want the pillow."

"Why?" I playfully tugged at it. "Come on. Let me warm you up a little. It's the least I can do." I wrapped the blanket around her shoulders. She started to shake a little harder, her breathing picked up. I recognized the gestures- she was about to throw up. Quickly reaching for a bowl, she let go of the cushion when she started to retch, holding onto the bowl with a firm grip.

I rubbed her back, and felt as if I had swallowed stones. It was painful to see her like that. Tears flowed out of her eyes. I knew the throwing up hurt her stomach an awful much, seeing her muscles pulled without her wanting them too. She moaned in pain, let out a soft, crying noise.

It tore me apart, I took the bowl in my hands and held it under her chin. With my eyes wandering around, I noticed a letter laying on her lap as the cushion slipped off. I didn't mention anything about it, until she pushed the bowl away and laid back in exhaustion.

"Are you feeling better?"

She barely nodded, closed her eyes.

I reached for the letter. "What is this, Amore?"

Aurora opened her eyes, tried to reach for it. "It's nothing, let it be."

The sender was the hospital. "What is it?"

"Zev.." Aurora started crying. Her left eye twitched, something I had noticed happening more and more. "Just let it be."

But I couldn't. I took the letter out of the envelope, my eyes quickly scanned the paper. I had to read it a couple of times, before I understood what it had actually been saying. "Aurora? What does this mean?"

"Zev, I told you to let it go." She sounded upset, pushed the words out with all of her strength.

"What does it mean, Aurora?" I read the paper again. "When did the doctor ever talk about this surgery.." I trailed off, rereading the sentences that came after. "Mrs. Malin- Moretti denied surgery where ovaries and uterus would be removed?"