When the morning comes

9 | Sole

1989 Fiorano, Boncompagni Ludovisi, Roma, Italia

I'd refused to give my number. I barely used my cellphone. Didn't like how you could just talk to someone so easily, without using much effort. I needed to be sure you had been interested in me too during the trip, so I gave you my address instead. Your first letter was short, just like the note you had slipped through the window at the trip. It only said;

Friday morning, seven am, seashore, ferris wheel, pier.

I'd rolled my eyes at the lame, short note, rather than a letter. But at the same time, I figured this was you. You weren't a guy of many words, and besides, the fact that you wanted to see me in the early morning caught my attention. Zev, despite being rather lame, you were something else. Caught attention, made people want to find out the mystery of you, of who you truly were. Therefore, I didn't question it. Couldn't question it either, because I refused to text you and I still wanted to see you. So, there I went. I woke up early, got dressed in a sweater I had knitted myself, along with some worn out mom jeans. I let my long hair down, put on some natural makeup and stood near the ferris wheel at six, forty-five. No one had ever made me feel nervous before, but you'd changed it all. You weren't there yet, the nerves got so ahead of me that I was afraid I got stood up on when it wasn't even seven am, yet. From a girl being too late everywhere, to a giddy girl being way on time. See, the effect you had on me was insane.. Still have on me, too. Seeing you sleep here beside me.. you wouldn't want to know what goes on through my head and body. Anyway, back to our first official date.. you came. One minute to seven. It was still rather dark, but you found me in the lights of the huge ferris wheel.

"Aurora.."

"Zev."

"Hi."

"Hi." Weren't you going to say more? I didn't think I'd ever seen a boy blush before. You were playing with your fingers, smiling a little as you kept glancing at me. I cursed in Italian, bursted out into laughter. "Why did I think you were going to take the first move?"

I had reached for your hand, held it tightly and snarled at a jogger who told us we were in the way. The beach was only so big and we were in his way? I already had my mouth full of words ready to spit at him, but you took me away from him, letting him jog onto the wet part of the sand, the harder part near the sea. "It's fine, Aurora. Let me take you somewhere."

Curious, but not surprised, we ended up at the ferris wheel that stood on the pier. "This is what you came up with? A ferris wheel? It's dark, what can we see! Besides, it doesn't ride until later in the afternoon." I teased you, but couldn't deny that my heart fluttered rapidly. Your hand was loose in mine, as if you were afraid to hold it tighter. I squeezed it. You squeezed it back. I squeezed you back, so we kept squeezing each other until you started laughing. I couldn't get enough of that sound, still can't, Zev. Your laughter is something else.

"I.. there's more to it all than just a ferris wheel."

"What is it?" I'd glanced at you, saw how the colorful lights of the ferris wheel fell onto your face, letting your eyes sparkle and your skin glow.

"Patience.."

"I know I don't always have much patience, but what has it gotten to do with the thing we are about to-"

"No, Aurora." You had chuckled. Tongue between your teeth. "Just have patience, soon we will go."

A chubby man appeared not later. His face stood rather bored, sleep was written on his face. He glanced at me, then at you. "Hundred bucks, remember. I ain't doing this again, old men got to sleep." You gave him the money, I widened my eyes. He let us in and as we got buckled safely, the chubby man made us go up slowly.

Awfully slow, but that was the whole point of your idea. You carefully opened your backpack, got out two water bottles filled with a off-white liquid. "Uhm, I know you will probably hate me now. I didn't mean to offend your roots, pouring wine in a water bottle and drinking it at an unbelievable time, and the wine coming from an English supermarket, but.. cheers?"

"Sei impazzito.." Have you gone insane? I'd whispered under my breath, but it wasn't in a bad way, Zev. Not at all. Later, I'd explain that to you. Because then came the next thing- the sun was starting to rise.

You gazed at it, smiled after licking your lips. I remember it so vividly, and I pray to God this memory will never fade. "Michael will stop the ride when we're at the top.."

"The chubby man?"

"Yeah." You chuckled. "So.. we can watch dawn together."

You had paid the man one hundred pounds, so you could watch dawn with me in a ferris wheel with a water bottle filled with wine. I wasn't and still am not able to put into words how much that had meant to me, still means to me, Zev. It showed who you truly were. Genuine. Dependable. Pure. Attentive. Soft-hearted. Something I never thought I'd find in a guy.

Yeah, I was loud, used another language to make things clear, wasn't afraid to speak out my thoughts, but at the end of the day, alongside it being characteristics of me, my roots, they were a small mask for insecurities I carried, too.

And you touched them. In a good way.

I remember going up, slowly. Standing still when we were at the top. I reached for your hand, you held it right after. Words weren't able to leave my lips, I gazed in awe, just like you did. Eventually, you'd nudged your head the direction of the sun. "Beautiful, right? Dawn. Just like you." I think- no, I know at that exact moment, I fell in love with you.

It was so cheesy, so lame, so beautiful at the same time, that it made me cry. I laughed right after, so I was a mess. I punched your shoulder, shook my head. You became serious right after, attentive gaze on my face. "Did I hurt you?"

"No, you gave me hope, Sole."

Biggest insecurity, not finding someone I could spend my life with. Not finding the one I'd want to have children with. Not being good enough. Not being seen, no matter how loud I could be at times. Not being truly known. Especially after the hurt I'd been through, cousins thinking I was their property when I was very young. Having you and Benji.. it was and still is my biggest wish for life. Living a life with a man, children and God.

Silently, we had watched how the ocean kissed the morning sun. Your fingers brushed the back of my hand, trailed up to my sweater. It was full of colors and patterns, a vintage style. You said you liked it. I said I sewed it myself. "Really?"

"Mamma taught me how to sew my own clothes." I nodded, turned my face to you. "So if your feet are cold in winter, tell me so and I can make you fuzzy socks."

"Or if I have old curtains, will you make me a suit out of it, too?" You referred to The Sound Of Music scene, where Maria made clothes out of the curtains Von Trapp wanted to throw away. I laughed. Looked up at you. Let out a breath.

"Send them my way, and I'll do what I can."

"Mama will not approve."

"Did Von Trapp approve?"

We both laughed.

Hands gripped tighter. We sipped more wine. You gazed at me. At the sun. I did the same. "I know this might be early to say, but.." You scooted closer. Thigh touching thigh. "I wouldn't mind watching dawn with you every single morning.. of my life."

Zev, sei impazzito!

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What are your thoughts on Aurora so far?

And Zev?

How do you think Aurora passed away?

Their first date.. I thought it was sweet. Let me know your thoughts! Votes comments shares much appreciated xx