2⋅All the pain

470 23 4
                                    

I am brought to consciousness with a bit of rustling and groan softly as shifting on my place, about to roll onto my side when a sharp pain on my arm wakes me up completely – I open my eyes with a soft cry, pulling myself to sit up, the sudden motion making the room spin around me. My breath is heavy for no apparent reason and I find myself unable to remember whatever I have dreamed with. On the other hand, however, the memories from the previous day flood my mind at once and without pity.

The pain isn't that strong, probably from my body getting kind of used to it. It is more like an annoying and repeated action and the worst part might not even be this, but the way it reminds me of everything and it makes me even more frustrated. I can feel tears welling up in my eyes. I just want it all to go away.

"Hey, sorry if I woke you up," Kobra says and I see him standing by his bed, pulling his jacket on.

"Ah, no, you didn't," I say with a sigh, rubbing my eyes with my free hand, pushing the thoughts away. "Actually, I woke up because of my arm. For how long have I been sleeping?"

"Some good hours," he replies, checking his wrist watch. "About twelve or more, I'm not so sure about when you went to sleep, to be honest. How are you feeling? If it's too bad, we can fix something with Doctor Death."

"No, I'm actually feeling better." The tiredness already wore out and my head doesn't feel as heavier as it did yesterday. All the unfortunate events feel like a distant dream in the back of my head, but much more real than one and then I also would like it to be. "What time is it?"

"Almost ten in the morning. Come on, let's go eat," he says with a smile.

When we reach the restaurant, the other guys are already gathered in a booth. Jet and Party share a seat and Ghoul grins at the same time he sees me approaching, scooting closer to the window and patting the space he once took. Party rolls his eyes at that, but Kobra doesn't seem to mind the lack of seat for him, bringing a chair over instead. Sitting with them like this is a bit uncomfortable despite how they seem to do their best to help me. Are their intentions really genuine?

An open can of Power Pup is suddenly pushed in front of me and I see Ghoul offering me a spoon, smiling.

"Thank you." I smile back at him and take the spoon, messily starting to eat along with the others, the action not so easy with me not using my dominant hand. Party doesn't eat, at first, noticeably observing me – it lasts until I look back at him.

"Are you a neutral, killjoy...? Maybe undergrad or BCU?" Ghoul interrupts the silence, looking at me curiously.

"Killjoy," I reply in a brief pause. "For how long can I stay?"

"We'd prefer you to leave when you're healed up," Kobra answers and, as much as he's nice, I wish I would talk more to the others to know them more. "But nothing really is holding you back."

After finishing eating in an awful silence and a painful change of bandages, I continue sitting there in the booth, looking out the window in thought after having moved closer to it. My heart still heaves in my chest at the thought of War and Sour being in problems, despite all the calmness and comfort. I just want them to be fine. Fuck the miserable state I've been put under.

Hiding the pain is terribly hard and I'm not talking about the physical one. As far as I know, War and Sour can be either in the best or worst situation right now and we are clearly a strong target, meaning BLI won't give up so far.

Tears end up filling my eyes whenever the thoughts hit me a bit too hard, so, a moment after Jet changes my bandages, I grab some food and try looking for a discreet place where I can be alone and not risk having anyone seeing me in such a terrible moment of weakness. I mean, I know they are

Fragile Hearts | Party Poison x Male ReaderWhere stories live. Discover now