Shadows like mine

12

Nesta was training with the priestesses, but Azriel and Aurora weren't near them.
At the other side of the House, in a tiny room full with windows, two cozy chairs and a hearth, they sat down. Her hair was a bit wild after their flying trip. Her cheeks had a rosy colour, her eyes were glowing like melted gold.
"Are you ready?" he asked her. Aurora took a deep breath and then nodded.
"I think so."
Azriel sat in front of her and Aurora was sitting with crossed legs in hers. She had a blanket over her shoulders, because the wind had been a bit too cold for her.
"Whenever I felt like my shadows were overwhelming me... I would breathe and concentrate."
"You would meditate?" she asked and frowned. Like she had never thought of that as an option.
"Yes," he agreed. "I would concentrate on them. Tell them that I was in control. I told them what to do."
Aurora smiled sad. "That seems simpler than it is."
He smiled back. "You're right. Let's try this together."
Again she nodded and took a deep breath. Azriel did the same and together they let their breath escape through their mouth. After a few times of doing this, Aurora closed her eyes.
"Tell them to come together around your shoulders."
It took Aurora a long while until they obeyed. Not all of them did.
"How did you end up in the ice water?" he asked as Aurora kept breathing, her face relaxed and her shadows now resting around her shoulders, her arms.
"You don't want to know." She sneakily opened one eye to look at him.
"Did you try to kill yourself?"
It was a bold question. A hard one, too. He saw that what he had guessed was right, because her mouth trembled and she closed her eye again.
"I was so tired," she whispered. "I was hoping he would let me go."
"If you die, doesn't that mean you're with him, forever?" asked Azriel confused. She shrugged.
"It would be better than being lonely."
Azriel felt such a strong sadness for her, that he was happy she had her eyes closed. He wasn't able to say anything. After a long while Aurora opened her eyes.
"I think I got it. For now," she said and examined her shadows. "They're very selfish."
"Or stubborn," he said. "Let's take a break and do it again later."
The House gave them a cup of tea with biscuits and cake. Way too much, if you asked Azriel. But the House was used to spoil its guests, since Nesta gave the House an actual soul.
"Do you have any hobbies?" he asked. His curiosity about her never ended since he found out her secret. Now he was curious about her as a person. What did she do? What did she like?
Aurora looked at him as she drank some of her tea.
"I like to sing," she whispered, as if she was ashamed of it. "But I didn't sing for years."
"Why not?"
She shrugged, but her eyes betrayed her. "I never had anyone that could listen to me." Azriel drank his tea and ate a biscuit. "And I don't know if my songs are worth singing."
"I don't believe that," he said and Aurora smiled carefully.
"Don't hope too much, shadowsinger," she warned him playfully. "Maybe I sing about how women lure men to their deaths."
Azriel almost choked on his biscuit and Aurora giggled soft.
"That was a joke, I hope?"
She nodded and refilled her cup. "Of course. They're sensitive. I wrote them, but never sang them. And when you always sing to yourself, it drives you mad at some point." Her playful smile disappeared. A sad feature took over of her face and Azriel felt his stomach tighten when he saw that.
"Over a few weeks we celebrate Elain's birthday, at Rita's," he said. "Maybe you want to sing for her?"
Aurora's eyes grew big. "Sing at a party? For Elain?" Immediately she shook her head. "That's not a good idea."
Azriel decided not to push her. "You think you want to come?"
She shrugged. "Maybe. I don't know if she wants me there. We barely even talked."
"You can get to know her," he offered. "Elain is very nice, a soft soul. She'll like you."
"You think?"
Azriel nodded, even though he saw Elain's unease whenever Azriel talked about Aurora. Maybe if she got to know her, he would see that Aurora was just a kind person, that was longing for a friend.
"If you ask her to come over, I'm sure she will."
Aurora kept thinking about that for a while.
"Now," he said. "Tell your shadows to hide themselves."

For the whole morning and lunchtime they were training Aurora's shadows, so they would listen to her. She was exhausted by the time they were done and Azriel flew her back down to the mansion.
She thanked him and smiled, before she walked back into the mansion. They decided that they would train every morning, just like Nesta did. But they would train mentally.
He was wondering if they would try to enter that dark space again. As soon as Azriel was back in his office, it was impossible for him to concentrate.
He kept thinking about Aurora's eyes, about the cruelty that was done to her by a force that none of them could control. For some reason he was longing to hear her sing. He was longing for it so bad — it was like he was a dried out man, trying to reach out for water.
Shaking his head, Azriel concentrated on his work again. He knew Aurora a little bit, but there was so much to discover.
He just knew she had a very interesting and sensitive past. Just like he did. Flipping over pages and signing certain letters, the minutes were ticking by.
When it felt like he was about to lose his mind, because it kept bouncing back to Aurora, someone knocked on his door.
He secretly hoped for someone else when Amren walked into his office, with Rhys behind her.
"I know she didn't tell us," said Amren, without greeting him. He was used to it now. "But I am pretty sure what it is."
"What wat is?" he asked and pushed away his paperwork.
Rhys was pale again and leaned against Azriel's desk, let his hands slip into his pockets. "She said she made a deal with Death, in the body pit. And she sort of did, but it's worse than that."
Amren let a thick, old book fall down before Azriel. Dust rose up from it. "It took me a while to find in the darkness, but the House showed me where it was. Handy, now it's alive."
A warm wind blew through the office, as a thanks.
"Open it," commanded Rhys and Azriel did so. The pages were yellow, thin and very old. They would crumble in his fingers if he didn't treat them with care.
He kept turning the pages until Amren pointed something out. It was in the Old Language.
"It has happened before," she said.
Azriel's head shot up to look at her. "What?"
"Death has claimed someone before, over a ten thousand years ago. It's not a bargain."
"Then what is it?"
Rhys looked at him with dying stars in his eyes.
"Death claimed her, and when he did so, he cursed her."
Amren shook her head in agony.
"The poor girl is cursed until she dies."