Shadows like mine

1

Azriel watched as Mor opened a bottle of wine with her teeth and spat the cork across the kitchen. Elain shrunk at the loud sound of the cork hitting the tiled wall.
What an odd thing to do.
"Don't look at me like that," growled Mor as she took a sip straight from the bottle. Elain tried to get into contact with Azriel, begged for his brown eyes to look at hers.
Elain always felt a bit overwhelmed at Mor's spontaneous alcoholic needs.
"Like what?" asked Azriel without moving a muscle.
He knew exactly why she did this. Elain, on the other hand, did not. She had never seen Mor uncorking a bottle with her white teeth.
"Winter is here," grumbled Mor. "So I need alcohol to stay warm."
"I could help you with that, too, dear." Cassian winked at Morrigan as he walked into the kitchen, snatching away the last brownie.
"I hate you," whispered Mor as she watched in agony how the brownie got consumed by the General.
"Not my fault I'm faster."
"I am drinking and needed a snack."
"Is your name on it?" Cassian looked at the brownie, which Elain baked this morning, with a frown. "If your name was on it, I'd still eat it."
Rolling with her eyes, but with a ghost of smile on her face, she turned away. "I will be getting drunk on the couch. Don't tell Rhys!"
"I think he will find out anyways," whispered Elain.
Cassian snorted. "He definitely will. Mor is not the best at covering her tracks." With a smirk he looked at the cork, with the shape of her teeth in the material.
Elain wanted to clean it up, but Cassian was faster. "Don't touch the evidence! I want to see the look on Rhys' face when he gets here."
"You are pure evil," mumbled Azriel and he took a sip of coffee.
Cassian rolled his eyes. "I like sensation."
Just like that, he walked out of the kitchen, complaining to Mor about what an alcoholic she was during the winter times.
Elain cleaned up the already clean kitchen once more. "I'm sorry," she mumbled when Azriel had to move up his arms from the kitchen island. "I just need to do something."
She smiled at him sheepishly and flushed red. His shadows told him that her heart beat became a little faster. He did not react.
As much as he loved Elain, she was not his to have.
She could have been. She was sweet, soft and definitely not as loud as Morrigan. Elain was brave beneath all the pastel coloured dresses. She was an excellent baker and a very talented gardener. After being tossed into the Cauldron, she gained a wisdom he could only appreciate.
She was not his to have.
Lucien was her mate. Even though she didn't take him —and Azriel wasn't sure if she ever would—, it would be very wrong.
He knew that she felt something for him. His shadows told him, always told him. Even though his shadows tried to hide behind him whenever Elain was near. As if it was not right to read her so much. But it was wrong. She had a mate in this city who would be perfect for her, if she wanted to.
Elain could never be his.
Just like Mor. He never could've had Morrigan.
And that is why Azriel never tried to give much reaction to her blushing, her sweet little smiles and when her heart rate would get too high, he left.
It was cruel to make her think that she could have him. But it looked like that she thought that Azriel never behaved any different. He was afraid she was blind for moments like these.
Elain, still blushing, moved over to the sink to wash some dishes. Azriel sipped his coffee in silence and blocked out the argument Mor and Cas were having in the living room.
He was laughing and she was fuming of anger, probably with a bottle of wine in her hand.
Azriel moved away his big wings as Elain stepped away from the counters, looking at the flowers in the vase behind him.
Elain had tried to touch his wings before. He never wanted that to happen again. Except for his brothers when he was injured, no one ever touched his wings.
He was scared something would happen. He hated the shivering it gave him, the sensations of intensity flowing through his veins.
She just wanted to know how they felt like, Elain had told him months ago. He was afraid she would cry because he looked mad at her. Elain made it up to her by baking him a cake in the shape of his wing.
"Azriel?" Her soft voice made him wake up from his thoughts.
Carefully he turned around, so his wings would not touch a single object. His shadows swirled around his legs and he tried to keep them in. They were bigger, darker, these days.
"Yes?" His voice was just as soft as hers.
Playing with her fingers, Elain found the courage to ask him. "Would you like to come with me this afternoon?"
He didn't answer. He waited for more. Go where?
Apparently Elain didn't understand his silence for a moment, but then realised. "To go to Amren's apartment? I lent her a puzzle and she finished it. And bring some flowers to Nesta. So she can have some color these cold days." She looked at the flowers behind her. "These are the last of the season."
In his head Azriel thought about the things he had to do. But then he realised, that now there was more peace in the world than ever before, his schedule became rather scarce than filled with to-do's.
"Of course," he said. He drank his coffee in one big sip. "Whenever you're ready."
Slowly he stood up, towered above her for a moment and went to get his jacket. As soon as possible, Elain joined him and together they went up to the streets.

Amren smirked like a demon as she gave back the puzzle. Azriel knew that Elain always felt a bit afraid around the small lady.
Amren's teeth were white and sharper than ever. "It was a pleasure, sweet Elain," she sighed and with a finger she pushed away a lost piece of hair.
"Thank you, Amren," whispered Elain and Amren winked at Azriel.
"Tell the Illyrian boys that they owe me money." Azriel tried not to roll his eyes.
"What is it this time?"
Her silver eyes shone in the light of the cold afternoon and she played with the rubies around her neck. "Cassian cheated on our game. Rhys gave me the wrong jewels." She smiled at them.
Elain became a little white. "Elain, dear, I'd love to have another puzzle to borrow." She became even more white now Amren talked directly to her.
Azriel hoped that Elain didn't smell the goat blood coming from the kitchen. But cooking and baking and working in the garden was something you needed a good nose for. She probably noticed—which could be the reason she was so pale.
"Of course." Het voice was a high pitched whisper and Amren laughed.
"Off you go. I want some peace." Like she never had enough alone time.

Azriel waited at the end of the street for Elain. They both knew it was not smart for him to come over at Nesta's place. She only had a warm spot for Elain.
He didn't know what was going on, but it took long. It took so long that he was surprised when both Elain and Cassian came up to him. Elain looked a little drained, Cassian's eyes were big and his siffons shone in the daylight.
"We have to go," he said.
"Go?" asked Elain and Azriel could tell that she didn't want him to.
"What is it?" he asked his brother. Cassian looked if no one was listening.
"A stranded girl up in the North of the Court. The Illyrians found her. They said that she acted strange, and that she has something odd."
Azriel frowned. "Who's coming?"
"You, me, Rhys and Feyre. They thought it would be smart for her to come, because this is a girl."
Azriel looked at Elain, whom looked disappointed. "Thank you, Elain," he said, then flying away with Cas.