Carpe Diem - cash au -

Coming To Terms

Cameron POV

I wait with bated breath to hear what Nash answers. My heart pounds so fast that I can practically hear it in my ears.

"Nate... don't," Nash says softly and I frown. That is not the answer I was waiting for, of all the things Nash could say he just says that? What about he tells Nate all of the things he loves about me? Why can't he just validate our relationship and our love just once to this asshole?

I can't deny that my feelings are hurt, my eyes begin to sting as tears well up and threaten to fall.

"Don't what, Nash?" Nate replies softly. I can hear some movement and I'm desperate to see what they're doing. I inch closer until the couch comes into view, there's only one lamp on and the room is kind of dark but I can make out their faces. Nate is sitting next to Nash sideways facing him while Nash is sitting straight, he's looking ahead but he doesn't move away from Nate.

"Don't do this," Nash replies and Nate raises his hands and grips Nash's chin forcing him to turn his head and look at him. Why the fuck is Nash letting Nate touch him like that? Why isn't he pulling away?

"Why don't you look at me, Nash? Are you scared that you might actually admit that you have feelings for me?" Nate asks him heatedly.

"I don't have feelings for you, Nate. We're friends, that's it." Nash says, he's finally being direct with Nate but he still doesn't move away and he still doesn't reference his relationship with me at all. Nash finally pulls his face out of Nate's grip and he stands up.

"Where are you going?" Nate asks and he grabs Nash's hand to stop him.

"I'm going to sleep, it's late and I need to check on Cam, he left a while ago and I want to make sure he's okay," Nash replies quietly.

"You were with him all fucking day, like we didn't get to spend any time together because of your clingy as fuck boyfriend," Nate says harshly.

"Don't talk about Cameron that way, Nate." Nash replies as he pulls his hand out of Nate's grip.

I don't even bother to listen to the rest of their conversation. I decide not to head back to the room, I go outside into the warm, balmy air and lie down on the hammock. I make it swing slowly and I close my eyes as the conversation I just witnessed runs through my head.

I wipe the tears that fall down on my cheek, I can't understand why Nash behaves that way around Nate. Does he have feelings for Nate that he's trying to mask? I would have said no fucking way but after witnessing their interaction I can't help but feel insecure and hurt.

I sniffle softly and I rub my eyes trying to stop the flow of tears.

I hate Nate, I hate him so much, I hate the strange effect he has on Nash. Nash was always the direct one, he was never afraid to say how he feels and what he's thinking but he can't do that with Nate for whatever reason. Is it because of the fact that Nate is the captain? That can't be the only reason and that's why I can't help but think there's more to this than meets the eye.

By now Nash should have gone upstairs and noticed that I'm not in bed, does he even care at this point? He didn't bother to check on me all evening while he and Nate chatted it up. Maybe I'm being dramatic and overreacting but I can't stop myself.

I hear the door to the deck open and close but I don't open my eyes. I can feel him stop in front of me, I know it's Nash because I know his scent.

"Cam..." he murmurs softly but I don't open my eyes, I know he probably knows that I'm awake but I don't care, I'm so over this trip already. Nash slides onto the hammock with me and pulls me into his arms, he slips his hand underneath my shirt and rubs my stomach gently. God, he knows exactly how to make me feel so weak.