Lisa is the first one I met before Jisoo and Chaeng, she's the amazing dancer from Thailand. I was hilarious to thought that she's a cute little brother because of her short hair.
As times goes by I knew that she will be a star. When I saw her performing I was like 'Wow there was a person who really born for this.' She's always the best for me.
She became my sister, my friend, my soulmate, my partner in crime, my bestfriend, and my lover. She's my strength and my weakness. She's my comfort and my home. Lisa is my everything.
She made me happy. She made me her queen. She made me special.
She made me the most beautiful girl in the world.
She did everything for me.
She's the only person who can understand me without saying anything.
All the important person in our life supports us. My family and her family they're really happy for us. Jisoo and Chaeng also supported us.
Except for one, YGE.
The first CEO doesn't really give a fuck when Kai and I was posted its not a date. Kai, Jisoo, Oppa Heechul and I are cousins that's why it's not obvious because not all the Kims are related.
We just let them decide of it, the SME's stocks that time rise and they need it badly so we just let it. That's why it didn't take a month when they announced that we broke up.
The CEO now is a shit, at first she's doing great but now ugh! She really sucks. I don't know what she's thinking. She doesn't want I and Lisa's relationship. We really didn't want to agree with that dating scandal but she threatened me to destroy our career I will just let her to destroy if it's just me but she included my members even Chaeng and Jisoo.
Even though I can take it I just can't. I know Lisa can also accept it. But Jisoo and Chaeng they also work hard for it and I don't want to take it away to them just because of Lisa and I's happiness. Why I didn't tell it to Lisa? Everything will messed up. We need to cover up something so I'm obligated to do it.
After sacrificing myself losing Lisa will be exchanged of it. I didn't know that not fighting for it I will lose her.
I thought she's still fighting but I'm not aware that she's already tired of fighting and waiting.
I honestly want to be mad at her but I can't because I know it is also my fault I became complacent.
I should have told her everything maybe she's still mine.
I should have assured her that I have plans for us.
I shouldn't make her feel that way.
I became coward to our relationship.
Now this is the consequence.
I lost her.
I just can't take her back anymore.
And worst Irene is now in the picture.
Irene is making her way now.
I can't blame her for loving Lisa, I can really understand her.
I remembered the day that Irene still doesn't know about us and she said that she's liking Lisa. I didn't get mad at her and I just laughed at her in my mind because I know that time that Lisa loves me and her heart belongs to me.
I told her that we're together and she say her sorry and she said that she won't take away Lisa from me unless we broke up. I thought she's just joking but I didn't know tjat she will take it seriously.
It's my fault.
I promised to support them someday.
I also want Irene for her I know Irene deserves her. They can take care of each other.
I can trust Irene with this, I know Irene will be brave and fight for them the thing that I didn't do.
I don't think I can love anymore after this.
Lisa will always be my number 1.
I love her so much and this time I will choose where she is happy eben if that doesn't include me.
I love her so much to the point that I can't see myself loving another person. I don't mind being single forever.
Just the thought of loving another person felt so wrong. I wish in another life it would be Lisa and I.
I'm still happy that I came first that we're each other's first in everything. No one can replace of it.
I will still be here for her as her bestfriend just give me sometime to move on and everything will be back to normal again.
I wish for her happiness and I also wish for my happiness someday.
As soon as I opened our door my mom engulfed me in a hug.
I think she knew it already.
I need my mom right now.
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