Stella/Scully One-shots

Do no harm

*** TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of self harm. non graphic. ***

Stella stood on the front porch of her flat, silently staring out into the dark London sky. She had been standing there for a while but she'd lost track of exactly how long. She knew inside the flat would be warm and smell nice, and she knew Dana would be waiting for her in the kitchen with a big loving smile painted across her pale freckled face, but instead she chose to stand there in the cold, shivering and alone.

It had been a long, particularly rough day and she so desperately was craving any sort of relief from the chaos inside her mind. More trouble had been brought down upon her regarding her time in Belfast, her boss was barely speaking to her, her coworkers all whispered behind her back, and it seemed as if everything she did was wrong.

All she could think about the entire day was how badly she wanted to be home, wrapped up in her red headed lover's arms; yet now there she stood with only a door between them and she couldn't get her feet to take her inside.

While she desperately wanted her thoughts to stop she didn't feel worthy of Dana's comfort; she didn't believe that's what she deserved. Of course Dana would embrace her without hesitation, but Stella's brain was convincing her that it would all be a lie, that she's just a burden. The last thing she ever wanted to do was burden or cause more pain for Dana. She'd rather take it out on herself than risk it affecting anyone else

The ice cold wind continued to lash at her body, occasionally sneaking underneath the expensive fabric of her coat and chilling her to the bone. Each gust of merciless wind made her want to cave and go inside more and more, but she began to think that perhaps she deserved to be out there- cold and suffering in silence.

She cursed her brain for being so negative and insecure, but she was unable to redirect it.

Finally one last chill broke her and she turned to grab a hold of the door knob, turning it slowly, sighing as she felt warm air spill out from the cracked door. The door closed behind her and a spicy, inviting smell invaded her now runny nose.

She smiled warmly, suddenly forgetting all the terrible thoughts that had just been in her head on the other side of the door. She made her way to the kitchen, and smiled again when she saw her girlfriend standing at the stove wearing a lavender apron, tending to whatever the wonderful smell was coming from.

Dana turned with a startle at the sound of Stella's keys hitting the counter, but her eyes softened instantly when she saw the blonde woman standing there.

"Stel, hi." She said, walking over to throw her arms around the woman she loved.

For a moment Stella felt warm, safe and happy. She felt invincible, until the same feelings from before began to creep in. She held Dana tighter, hoping it would make them stop, but to no avail.

Dana could sense something was off and pulled back to look into her lover's eyes, though the blonde refused to meet her gaze.

"Everything okay?" She asked, stepping back over to the stove.

Stella nodded with a shrug and stumbled over to the fridge, pulling out an unopened bottle of red wine. A drink, she just needed a drink . She took a giant sip after she poured the rich red liquid into a glass, and sighed as she felt the warmth spread throughout her. After another sip or two she felt a bit more level headed, and sauntered her way over to Dana.

"How was your day, love?" She asked, wrapping her arms around the redhead tightly. Dana smiled.

"It wasn't too bad. Better now that you're home."