Found You

First date more like two mentally unastable bitches hanging out

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-KATSUKI-
Shit-

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to blurt that out right after you just told me something traumatic. Fuck. Now I feel like an ass. J-just ignore what I just said....."

I sighed and looked away from Kiri, placing my head on the steering wheel. Goddamnit. Sometimes I'm the biggest loser. Beyond pathetic. I swear to god I need to stop being so fucking-

I felt a tap on my shoulder, pulling away from my jumble of thoughts. I peeked up slightly at Kiri, hoping he wasn't about to tell me off or some shit. I wouldn't blame him though. I did just ask him to be my boyfriend after only hearing about the shit he went through.

"I-it's ok... I'm just...shocked. I thought you would hate me or curse me out. But instead you want me to be your boyfriend. I-I'm not saying no......it's just I'm s-scared of being used. And well...hurt."

I turned my body back towards him and pulled him into a firm embrace. I held him close, letting him shiver and shake and cry into my shoulder. I really do like him. And I totally understand his fear.

I really do understand, Kiri. I'm not all there yet either. I'm scared too. I might've gotten more comfortable about my sexuality, but I've never actually truly accepted it. I've come to terms with the label, lifestyle, and other factors of being gay. But actually being able to openly say 'damn that guy is hot' or 'hey wanna date' is really scary and difficult for me. I get it...

"Ei-Kirishima, you don't have to answer right away. I'm scared too. You already know about my internalized homophobia and how difficult it is for me even doing this. Not to mention my bipolar shit. So....how about I take you on a proper first date and a date after that and another date after that. I'll do anything for you. Until you feel comfortable with the possibility of us being more than roommates."

I loosened my grip around him to let him have some space. He wiggled out of our embrace and stared at me straight in the eyes. Ah. Yes. Eye contact. It's fine. It's fine. I hold the eye contact, trying not to instinctively look away from anxiety.

"Okay."

I gaped in shock at his reply. I was expecting to be rejected on the spot. I swallowed hard and nodded. I turn back towards the steering wheel and turn on the car engine. We head home, letting complete silence take root in the atmosphere. Definitely triggering my anxiety.

I mean like....come on at least say something. My mind is already making up random scenarios that are most unlikely to happen even if I was the unluckiest person alive. I kept thinking about what to say, only to back out of saying anything and allowing the silence to take over.

Once we made it to our dorm, I helped him up the stairs and into his room. He looked unwell and ready to either crash from exhaustion or burst into panic. I helped him in bed and pulled an extra blanket over him.

As I was turning to walk away, he grabbed my wrist and stopped me in my tracks. I shuffled around to look down at him in concern.

"Hey...do you mind sleeping with me? I-I don't want to be alone. I was Kou today and I might end up having nightmares..."

I smiled softly at him. How could I say no? A chance to take care of this cutie, I'll take it any day. Nonetheless, I need to get his meds for him, since he didn't take them yet. He needs to take them after eating. I bend down low enough to kiss Kiri's forehead.