𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚔𝚒𝚍 (𝚔𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚗𝚊𝚙)

~𝚆𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛, 𝚐𝚞𝚒𝚕𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚊𝚍𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜~ ~𝙲𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚊𝚞𝚗𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛~

-TW: Panic attack, heavy guilt, hospitals, bruises-

-Karl POV-

I was sitting in the waiting room of the ER with my mother. Nick's mom was still on her trip and she couldn't get back soon enough. The doctor came out of Sap's room holding a clipboard and looking somber. I stood up as he approached us.

"Hello. Karl right?"

"Yes, hello. how is he? can I see him?"

"I need to confirm your relation to Nick before I can give you any information, I'm sorry."

I sighed. "I'm..." I paused and looked at my mom. I hadn't told her Sapnap and I were boyfriends. "I'm his boyfriend" My mom's face lit up as she looked at me. 

"Wonderful thank you. I'm going to go check that really quick, and then you can see him" The doctor turned and walked back down through the swinging doors towards Nick's room. My mom pulled me down to the seats. "you didn't tell me the two of you were dating!" she looked so excited. I mustered up all the happiness I could and put on a fake front. "yep! we talked about it this weekend." She hugged me and I hugged back. "I love you hon" I felt more tears forming in my eyes but I tried to hold them in. My mom pulled back and held my shoulders. "Karl, are you ok?"

I shook my head and balled up my hands in the sleeves of my hoodie. "do you want to tell me about it?" I nodded and then looked around. "can we go somewhere else?" My mom got up and grabbed my hand to help me out of my seat.  We walked down the hall to the bathroom and my mom locked the door behind us. I leaned up against the wall as my mom balanced on the edge of the sink. "go ahead, honey"

I felt tears start to roll down my face as I thought about everything. "I feel like this is all my fault. everything that happened. I should've stayed behind and helped. Now he's in the hospital and its all my fault" I sobbed as I felt the same tightness in my chest grow again. "He's gonna hate me now. I swear he is." I slid to the ground against the wall and let my sobs out. My mom came and sat next to me. I leaned my head up against her shoulder and let all my emotions out. 

My mom rubbed my back and let me just release all my emotions. "oh hon, it's ok.  he doesn't hate you I swear" I tried my best to believe her, but I couldn't. I felt my breathing start to spread and I grasped at my chest, heaving heavily.

My mom turned and sat in front of me. "Karl. Karl. Look at my face" I did. "follow my breathing ok? just do your best" I tried my hardest to follow her breathing patterns and after about 2 minutes of breathing, I calmed down. "ok... ok... I'm ok..." My mom smiled softly and hugged me. I stood up and walked to the door 

"We should probably go check back in with the doctor" She nodded and followed me back to the waiting room. My cheeks were still wet with tears, but I tried to be strong for Nick. The doctor came back and looked up at us and he smiled

"Alright, well you're confirmed, and you can go see him now" I jumped up and walked over to the doctor. I could've hugged him, but I decided against it. We followed him through the swinging doors and down the halls until we reached Nick's room. I was a mess of emotions. I was scared, cautious, excited, nervous, and happy all together. 

The doctor stopped at room 317 and opened the door to let us in. The first thing I saw was a curtain and a bunch of machines. I heard lots of beeping and all the noises of everything. It was slightly overwhelming but I walked further into the room. for Nick.. for nick...  I kept reminding myself. 

TW: needles, bruises, broken bones, scars

The doctor closed the door behind us as I made my way to behind the curtain. I gasped at what I saw. Nick lay on the bed, seemingly peaceful, covered head to toe in bruises and scars. His leg was in a cast and he had a bandage over his nose. there were tubes and IVs sticking out of his arms that were connected to machines and bags of fluid. 

I felt tears start to prick the ends of my eyes as I sat down on the chair next to him. "He's gonna be ok. He should wake up soon, he just needs to stay here for a bit while we get him fixed up" the doctor said, breaking my thoughts. I nodded "thank you," I said, barely over a whisper. I heard my mom whisper to the doctor and then footsteps and the door closing. I let the hot tears fall as I rested my head on the edge of the bed next to sapnap. 

I cried and cried for minutes on end until I heard a raspy voice. "Karl?" My head shot up. I looked to nick, who had his eyes opened and was staring at me. I wrapped my arms gently around him and smiled. He looked surprised but I felt him pat my head as I lay on his chest. "Im ok. It's ok." I sat up and looked at him. I felt horrible. His face had bruises and he had a black eye. 

"Do you hate me?" Sapnap stared at me. "what?" I felt another wave of tears fill my eyes. "Do. You. Hate. Me" He chuckled and then realized I was serious. 

"Karl... why would I hate you?" I could hear the sadness in his voice but I continued on. "Because I was the one who let this happen. I could've stayed behind and helped! If I had been there I could've kicked his ass with you! I-" I was cut off my sapnap pulling my head towards him and pulling me into a deep kiss. 

"Oof," He said, adjusting on his pillows, "Who would've thought kissing would physically hurt" 

"You never answered my question." I crossed my arms and tried to look angry, but it was hard to be angry at him. "I didn't realize that was a real question. How could I even hate you, Karl? You helped even more by leaving than you could've done by staying. If you stayed, he would've beat the shit out of both of us and left before anyone could find us." I sighed and realized he was right.

"I guess. But if I stayed back I could've covered for you or something!" He giggled and I immediately felt better. His bubbly giggles could make me happy any day. "Karl. I really don't hate you ok?" I nodded. I sniffled and looked to the ground

"I would come over there and hug the living crap out of you but I can barely move so I guess that's not an option," Sapnap said, making me laugh a bit. "true... but I can come over there" I scooted my chair over to him and gave him a quick kiss and laid my head next to him while still sitting in the chair. "I'm gonna stay here, with you, the whole time," I said, yawning. He giggled and kissed my head. I felt myself drifting off and I smiled as I saw that Sap's breathing was slowing down as well.

I went to sleep knowing that both of us were safe together.

𝟷𝟸𝟾𝟸 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜. 𝚝𝚢 𝚐𝚞𝚢𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝟿𝟸 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚜! 𝚒 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚞𝚛 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚝 𝚜𝚘 𝚏𝚊𝚛! 𝚙𝚕𝚜 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜! (𝚏𝚞𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚖𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚍𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚎𝚍 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚜 𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊 𝚕𝚘𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚑𝚠 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚖 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢)

-𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚐𝚐𝚢𝚜𝚒𝚖𝚙