Bukas Hindi Na Ikaw

Chapter 39

"Hmm 'kay. Listen up..." I moved closer to her and held her hands tighter. I felt nervous actually. "God, why am I tensed?"

She smiled a bit before I decide to continue. "Okay, first, I'll be honest with you... I wasn't sure if your kuya Emman is the right person for me. Sounds crazy right? But why? Simple lang, kasi kahit gaano natin kamahal ang isang tao at kahit gaano natin ipag-pilitan sa sarili natin na sana sila na ang tamang taong naka laan para satin ay at the end of the day, Diyos lang ang makapag sasabi dahil siya lang ang tanging nakaka alam ng buhay natin mula umpisa hanggang wakas. Personally? I never claimed that Emman is the right person for me, I never did that."

"But w-why? Is it because of how the way he treated you before? I mean, no offense meant but he used to ignore you before... Right?" She frowns like a curious girl she is.

But I tilted my head.

"Although that was a huge fact." I countered. "But no, that was never the reason. Listen Serene, in this life... We will never gonna have the chance to find the right person for us, but on the process, you will realize that someone is really meant for you when you start being the right person for them. That's the only choice that we have. In able for us to find the right person, we need to be the right person. Hindi mo makikita o mahahanap ang tamang tao sa buhay mo kung hindi mo pipiliin ang maging tamang tao para sa'kanila."

Her expression is kind of perplexed like she's trying to absorb every single detail that I'm talking about.

"And honestly speaking? I'm not sure if I'm with the right person, but, I am the right person. Hindi ko pinilit si Emman na maging tamang tao siya para sa'kin, pero pinilit ko ang sarili kong maging tamang tao para sa'kaniya. Hindi ko siya sinukuan dahil alam ko sa sarili kong ako ang tamang tao para sa'kaniya. I made myself better to deserve him. Pinili kong manatili dahil kampante ako sa pag-ibig na nararamdaman ko. There are so many things that he taught me, and part of it was patience. Oo, maraming tao ang may alam kung paano ang mag mahal, pero hindi lahat ng tao ay alam kung paano ang manatili at mag hintay. Hindi ako sumuko dahil alam kong deserve ni Emman na mapunta sa isang taong hindi siya kailanman gugustuhing saktan. Dahil alam kong kailangan niya ng isang taong pipiliin siya, yung taong iingatan at mamahalin siya ng totoo. Kahit minsan hindi siya buo. Kahit minsan hindi siya kapili pili. Kahit minsan hindi siya kamahal mahal."

Pinilit kong hindi mag mukhang nag aalala noong makita ko ang namumuong luha sa mga mata ni Serene.

God, she's really that in love???

"Alam ko naguguluhan ka sa ngayon. Meron kang nararamdaman na hindi mo maipaliwanag." She nods her head vigorously as her tears starts cascading on her cheeks. "Listen... Para masagot yang mga tanong sa isip mo, mag simula ka sa pinaka unang hakbang."

"W-what could that be?" Her lips trembles.

"Start acknowledging what you feel. Admit the fact that the reason why you are having so many questions in your mind, that you are getting bothered by it, and the fact that you want answers... Is partly because you are in love. You are in love and that's totally fine Serene. Love is not a crime for you to be guilty about it."

"B-but he's my... Ate Ari... H-he's my b-bestfriend—"

I tilted my head. "It doesn't matter who he is. It doesn't matter what role does he play in your life today. Love is inevitable. You can never choose who you want to fall in love with. But by the moment realization hit you, and suddenly you felt the urge of loving someone you're not supposed to... Have some room to still acknowledge it. Although yes, there are times that your heart will fail you countless of times, but that's okay. It's part of life."

When she start sobbing like a cry-baby, I found myself grabbing her in a warm tight embrace. Mas lalong lumakas ang pag iyak niya noong isubsob niya ang ulo sa leeg ko.