𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐘 | 𝐤𝐧𝐲

燃 | burn

~仕始める~

Air raid alarms were a daily annoyance, majority were fake alarms or alarms from neighboring cities. Every day was another panic attack, every day was hell on Earth. Unable to escape the hellish echoes that taunted me inside my head. Yushiro thought I would get used to it at this point, but it only seemed to get worse. The growing paranoia that only ever ate at my stomach.

"Gonna die, gonna die."

"Nobody's going to die, you're fine," his tone was harsh.

Cooped up inside a dirt shelter, held up by wooden planks and condensed soil. Yushiro cocked his head, trying to hear the enemy aircraft above us. The whistling of bombs came down, hurdling down.

"They're coming, cover your head!"

Yushiro grabbed me, one hand on the side of my head and the other on his head. Both of our eyes were screwed shut as the earth violently shook around us, making me choke. It's so hot inside, it hurts. It was loud, and our bodies jumped as the ground was swept under our feet.

Whimpering and pathetic sobs escaped from my lips, if the shelter collapses both of us are dead. It's midsummer afternoon with the sun at its highest, if the soil collapsed it would be an immediate and crispy death. The shaking slowed, heat and humidity slowly cooking us both. Yushiro lifted his head after the shaking had ceased completely, leaving my shaking self in his arms.

"See, they're all gone now, it's all okay now." Yushiro hushed my quiet cries and wheezes, pathetically attempting to calm myself down.

His hand rubbed my back, he's used to my panic but every time he doesn't know what to do. He knows from personal experience that he dislikes being touched when panicking but he knew I was different. Large footsteps of neighbouring towns folks came scampering to our shelter, I buried my face into Yushiro's side to avoid the embarrassment.

"You two okay?" One of the men said, his tan finger pointing at my shaking frame.

Yushiro nodded, "Fine, did they hit anywhere else in the city?"

"Yeah, Nagasaki is a mess. They say the Yamato got sunk."

My stomach sank when I heard that.

"No way..." Yushiro sighed, a pit seeming to form in his stomach, "We really do seem to be fucked, don't we?"

One of the younger boys piped up, "Don't say that mister! Japan rules the sea, nobody's going to get us! We have soldiers on the ocean and on land!"

The demon bit his tongue, not wanting to argue firepower with a boy... He didn't want to diminish his hope.

"Anyways, did any buildings collapse? Bodies found at all?" Yushiro changed the subject, noticing my shaking had almost come to a stop.

The older man nodded his head, "The Enoshima and Togaki household got crushed, everything downtown is fine so far. No bodies have been found quite yet."

Yushiro nodded his head, I peeked out from his side, placing a hand on his stomach.

"I see, we can only hope for the best. Get out of here, we'll be fine on our own."

The couple scurried away, yelling at the next set of people they saw. Yushiro put the loose piece of carpet he was previously sitting on over his head to protect him from the sun. Our home wasn't damaged, and my panic attack had finally subsided. He motioned for me to join him under the carpet and the two of us made our way back into our home.

Yushiro's paintings and his supplies had made a temporary home inside the bomb shelter. Bombings and shootings have been too frequent to be safe, and Yushiro was passionate about his work. It was your job to respect that, and you worked hard to expand the shelter in order to store the items.

The sun seemed reluctant to set, being caged inside that shelter for so long I had longed for fresh air. We could only air out our home so much and sun hats and umbrellas only gave us so much protection. After the sun had finally set over the mountains and trees I made my way across the city, still teeming with life. Most of them were soldiers or civilians trying to find and other damage across the small city.

I had kept my presence quiet, my walk in the dark was close to silent besides the stirring of dirt from the people around me. The road was wide, and I couldn't help but notice the crater that ruined the fence to the left of me.

A certain text I had read before flooded into my mind.

"Craters of unexploded bombs are actually very small. According to the latest reports, the enemy has been using these bombs."

Shit.

My vision and my ears burned, my entire left side of my body feels as if it had been plagued by flames. It was a dud bomb, a bomb that got triggered when it felt vibrations in the ground. The entire half of my face and my body was blown to literal bits, scattered all over the side of the road. The loud explosion caused townsfolk around me to shriek and scream.

Panic and instinct had flooded my body, my lungs filled with toxic and nuclear smoke. My remaining leg was numb, after a few seconds I could stand on my own again after my limbs had grown back. Using the smoke as a cover I sprinted away, burned flesh and skin peeling off of my body against the pressure of the air. The smell could only be described as scorched steak, the only thing I could smell as blood spilled from my exposed ribcage.

Organs threatened to spill out my body, I fell straight on to the engawa. My rotten and burned body was thrown in front of Yushiro. All I could hear was his distant yelling and him trying to keep my breathing even.

I blacked out approximately 13 times, Yushiro had to rearrange my organs. I woke up numb from anesthetics and my mouth tasted of chalk and toasted wood, Lord knows how long I was asleep.

His muffled voice taunted me, echoing inside my pounding head.

"You're so dumb, what happened? I was so scared."

I couldn't open my eyes to see him, they wouldn't open. It's the second time I've ever heard Yushiro cry. It was heartbreaking all over again.

"I can't live in a reality where you don't exist, it's impossible. It's not about keeping Tamayo's memory alive, not anymore."

What the hell is he talking about?

"I love you, and I hate it."

I was high, high on blood loss and all of the drugs Yushiro had shoved in my body.

It's a dream, it's a dream, it's a dream, it's a dream, it's a dream, it's a dream, it's a dream, it's a dream, it's a dream, it's a dream, it's a dream, it's a dream, it's a dream, it's a dream, it's a dream.

It's not a dream.

And I loved him too.

~終了~