Azur Lane - The next one who attempts to marry me, gets detention!

Admiral's Missive - Week 7

To all ships – I think we can all agree that no one had foreseen the outcome of last week's cage matches. But fair is fair, and she did win the finals against Akagi in her own competition. Be sure to congratulate the victor.

Admiral Graf Spee – Stop trying to hug me. I like you too, but I want to avoid decapitation by hand claws.

Ajax – Could you move the torturing of those girls somewhere else? Akashi looked rather concerned when such violence took place so close to her doorstep. I don't know what she has in there, but if she looks worried, we should be terrified.

Akagi – They had all fought on your terms. Wrestling is over. I don't care that losing wasn't part of your plan. – You got beaten by a 1,30 meter light carrier. you're going to have to let it go.

Cleveland – We know you're a girl, you don't have to prove it. Stop flashing your skirt to everyone.

Enterprise – It is my honour to congratulate you in the stead of Guinness world records, as you've beaten the record for least amount of food consumed in a month. Bravo. Now for all that is holy, just eat a cracker, or just eat anything.

Graf zeppelin – I do not need to know the lore behind "our holy slaughterer." I respect any and all religion, but you're categorically insane. I sincerely hope you never discover alcohol.

Kaga – Stop trying to challenge Unicorn to another match. Not only does that seem woefully cruel, but also, as we've seemingly discovered last week, she can easily take you on...

King George V - Please handle your sister...

Penelope – If you've forgotten something, you don't have to hurt yourself to remember again. – Repeated brain trauma doesn't heal memories, it harms them.

Prince of wales – I am sorry I mistook you for your sister. You two just look similar. Please cease and desist any and all attempts to castrate me.

North Carolina – No, you don't need a tattoo. – Are you... having an identity crisis?

Unicorn – Congratulations on winning the wrestle competition last week! I did not know someone so small could give such a devastating Swanton Bomb. I'll be sure to become a lot more careful around you from now on...

Z46 – Stop asking people to give you a name. We're not calling you "Little Nazi," Eugen was just kidding.