Azur Lane - The next one who attempts to marry me, gets detention!

Admiral's missive - week 28

To all ships - Piranha grenades are new being tested for use. Any volunteers please report to Akashi.

To all SIREN - Gambling addiction is being diagnosed more often than PTSD among you lot. The morbid bets stop now.

Ajax - "it followed me home, can I keep it?" would be a valid explanation, were it anyone else other than you. Let the victims escape.

Ayanami - As you seem incapable of applying damage reduction in practice, we are hereby forced to confiscate your cannons. "Rocket jumping" is not a trend we want other destroyers to follow.

Belfast - If you insist on continuing to grab Enterprise, either 1 or 2, in the middle of the crowd, bend her backwards, and kiss her full on the lips in full view of everyone around you, I will be forced to create laws against public display of affection. - This goes the same for any acts beyond just kissing in public view. Keep your clothes on. - I am not reprimanding you for being homosexual! I am reprimanding you for being a blatant whoremonger!

Bismarck - Ending any message to your subordinates with "Continue at your own risk" is pointless and bound to dissolve into disaster.

Cleveland - Walking around in a tuxedo and refusing to wear a bra does not change one's gender.

Deutschland - Eldritch is not an "Eldritch abomination." There are indeed Eldritch abominations within the naval base, but we do not expect nor allow you to recognize which classify as "Eldritch abominations" in the first place.

Empress III - If there's one thing she's good for, it's that Bismarck is very strict about her subordinates not eating each other. Unless we find Karlsruhe soon, you will be imprisoned for suspected cannibalism.

Enterprise 1 - Being married to Belfast is no reason to walk around with your rigging on. What, are you going to bomb your own wife? - That was rhetorical! Are you sure the marriage was your idea as well?!

Enterprise 2 - Creating a stealth division with the rats isn't the worst idea in the world. This could have benefits. Please allow us to test this theory. - Give us the rats!

Fuzzball - Any attempts to officially change your name are hereby rejected. I am NOT dealing with another Enterprise 1 2 situation. - Well, Now you know how Z26 feels.

Graf Zeppelin - I know this goes against everything I stand for, but I have no other choice than to ask; could you please lend us the giant slingshot?

Honolulu - Calling the cops on crimes committed by Graf Zeppelin is futile. I have not seen a more useless use of anyone's time.

Hood - Rule of thumb; if the first reaction of enemy units upon sighting you is to attempt to suppress laughter, then you need to change the color of your wardrobe. - Even if Blood red and sunny yellow were used in rescue operations by live-guards, their use in a wartime setting is prohibited.

Illustrious - When challenged by enemy units to compare breast sizes, do not amuse them. You are advised to just open fire instead.

Javelin - The spreading of gratuitous rumors is unnecessary. No one needs to hear how Belfast is cheating on Enterprise with Enterprise. It's more complicated than that.

Observer α - Stop drawing chalk outlines in the form of bodies around the hallways. We know for certain no one has died there. - Okay, I may have been wrong on that, but dragging corpses from the hallways to my office just to prove your point is likewise prohibited. - I do not need to know how they got there.

Prinz Eugen - if It "looks so sexy it should be illegal," it probably is illegal.

Purifier - If you continue to insist that body count equals chain of command, it should be noted that the base Commander would have the authority to deploy nuclear weapons, while his subordinates would not. What do you think my job was before I became admiral?

Taihō - "Commanderism" is not an religion, will not become an religion, and has never been an religion. Ever. - Hey! Look at me! I want to hear you repeat what I said word for word, dammit!

Tester β - Fine, the grenades work. But you didn't have to prove me wrong by tampering with the mission schedule, allowing you and Kashino to go on commission to the amazons, collect 10 shipments of piranha's, force Kashino to carry all of them back to port, hide them from me for over a week by using bombs to create puddles in the nuclear testing grounds and fill them with water, and placing them inside it. - with these antics, you have proven to be more intelligent and sufficient than most units inside this naval base. Please refrain from being the chaotic neutral and help me keep this place from getting destroyed by nuclear chain-explosions and commanderism-cultists.

Unicorn - Wow, that growth spurt hit you hard! Those arms are the size of hammers, and you're three times my height!