To all ships - The Jehovah have turned on us. The allies send by our enemy were also our enemy, what a surprise. Literally the thing we expected to happen happened.
Admiral Graf Spee - Eugen is lying. Your definition of "Fisting" and the world's definition do not align. - Even if she encourages it. - Especially after she told you what it really meant!
Admiral Hipper - "It's not like I committed a warcrime or anything" does not exempt you from punishment.
Ajax - Roon is not to be "punished" by your standards. You still have a meat cleaver sticking out of your shoulder.
Albacore - For nailing down Eldritch to the fence in an attempt to make the fence static, you will be punished. Although thank you for helping increase our defensive capabilities.
Akagi - I will not tolerate your jealousy issues for much longer. I do not care that I said Bismarck's name 7 more times than yours yesterday. - I also don't care that you feel the need to make it up to me by writing what I can only describe as porn fiction. I'm this close to just burning everything with your name on it.
Akashi - You will no longer transform any heavy cruisers into a war-themed waterpark from this point on.
Ark Royal - Just because she looks young and adorable doesn't mean you should treat Albacore the same way you treat other young girls. I'd like to make it known to you that your entire room is now coated with lube.
Atago - Stop discussing what the protentional children of shipgirls look like. Especially when those children's father is supposed to be you.
Avrora - We are not going to make "Jehovah soup." - I cannot even trust you people without written rules on cannibalism.
Ayanami - Over my dead body will you be allowed to enter the kitchen fridge for "research purposes."
Belfast - You're already married. Your hopes for a shotgun wedding will have to move on.
Bismarck - You should not force your subordinates to wear magical girl costumes and make them "Transform" during battle. - Fine, I will admit that the five of you cinematically morphing into battle armor was impressive. Now stop it.
Bremerton - The counsel sessions stop now. Purifier does not need a "best friend" if you dear your life.
Chapayev - That SIREN has five hands. Handcuffs will not work on her.
Cleveland - Stop taking lessons on seduction from Zuikaku.
Deutschland - The royal maids are not piñata's. Even if Belfast allows it.
Eldritch - I'm sorry about the fence thing. But hey, at least you technically helped with the incapacitation against some of the Jehovahs.
Enterprise 1 - The majority of the base are starting to question what you and Belfast are even doing under the bed at night. Belfast's screams were so loud that we couldn't even hear the warning siren go off during the enemy attack. I don't know what you have inside that room of yours, but get rid of it. For the love of god and your wife.
Enterprise 2 - When Belfast will inevitably ask you to marry her in a triparte American country wedding, you are to refuse. - Your feelings on it don't matter! Did I stutter?!
Friedrich Der Große - When Victorious pushes her smaller counterpart off to you for "Baby-sitting," refuse her. - Yes, even if you're okay with it.
YOU ARE READING
Azur Lane - The next one who attempts to marry me, gets detention!
HumorGenerally, the admiral's fleet isn't known for its adequacy. For good reason. - Idea borrowed (totally stolen) from "Please stop eating the hell butterflies" by Mistress Nika. Playfully testing the limits of what "Rated T" means. Dark humour is immi...
