ALL THE LOVE WE LEAVE BEHIND

Chapter 18

Dear Blair.

I know the last thing you want is an apology of how this wasn't my fault, or a proclamation of love that I realized after that night, or some whack lie, so I won't give you any of that. I'm just going to give you my side of the story, the truth, because you didn't give me a chance to explain myself, and I don't think that was fair. But I'm not about to start off this letter by debating on what's fair and what isn't, I'm instead just going to tell you what happened.

I didn't cheat on you, Blair. I know you must think I did and you want to crush this letter to pieces right now. Trust me, if I was in your place I would think the same, but I didn't.

Charlotte caused a misunderstanding between us, she levered everyone into thinking that it was me that was in that bathroom stall with her, and she planned it all in such a way that you didn't have a moment to breathe when the rumors began to spin around, but I'm here to tell you, Blair, that that's all they were- they were rumors.

That day, at the mall, Charlotte called me to tell me that she was all alone, in a bathroom stall. She said someone had taken her clothes, and I didn't bother asking her the context of the situation, because frankly, it was none of my business, but I was told- later on- that she was with one of the guys in there. I put two and two together and realized that whoever that guy was must have had a girlfriend that found out about it, and she probably took her clothes in vengeance- regardless, that isn't important so I won't waste time on it.

She rang me to beg me for my help, and I was in the mall at the time, so I agreed because I didn't think too much of it. I ran to the girl's stall and lent her my jacket along with a pair of pants that I bought from one of the shops nearby- the guy she was with had already fled the scene by then.

Now, while I was in there, a group of girls from our school walked in, and Charlotte immediately kissed my cheek as a Thank You- Again, I didn't think too much of it, but I should have, because she only did that in order to start the rumor that we had hooked up- that I was the guy in the stall.

Flash forward to the party, I assumed she was going to tell you that she kissed me-on the cheek- and it was your birthday so I didn't want her to ruin your night. That's why I went away with her when she threatened to say something to you. What I didn't know, Blair, is that me running away with her is exactly what she wanted, because she didn't want you to know that I had helped her out. She wanted you to think that we had done more in that stall, but we didn't. I wasn't even in there with her, and I swear to God, the second I found out about all this, I wanted to come running to you with the explanation, but you were gone, Blair.

You simply got up and left. You dropped me a single text telling me that it was all over.

A text Blair?

Do you realise how idiotic I felt after that?

I rang Lexi, but she didn't pick up- I don't even think she received my calls, given that she wasn't in the city, but Blair I went insane, because I realised what a stupid thing I had lost you over. A rumor?

And I was hurt, Blair. I'm sorry but I was so frustrated because I realized that you didn't trust me- you had no faith in me- in us.

You left, without an explanation, a note, a call. You didn't even give me a chance to tell my side of the story, and you painted me as the villain in your head- over what? A lie she spread?

I loved you Blair, and I still love you- I know this isn't the way you would have wanted me to say it for the first time. Trust me, this isn't how I imagined myself saying it but I don't care. I need you to know that I do. I love you and I would never do anything to hurt you.

Ever since you left, everything has reminded me of you. The things on campus serve as a memory of the time we spent together. The bleachers, where you saw my first game, the bridge where I first asked you out, our locker meetups and the fact that we were supposed to spend the entire Summer together. We had planned everything Blair, and you let that go based on some made up rumor. I understand that I should have been straight up with you about Charlotte, but if I'm being honest, you took everything way out of context and it cost me to lose you.

Please tell me Blair, why am I being punished for something I didn't do? I understand that you were hurt- but you have to put yourself in my shoes and realize that it wasn't easy on me either. I didn't cheat on you Blair, and I never would, and I don't expect you to believe me, but I needed to tell my side. I need you to know. So, if after this, you decide to give me a chance, please Blair, call me because I deserve that much.

Yours truly,

Tyler Ford.