20-year-old university student Maliyah Tijjani is independent and fierce, yet damaged. She's been damaged for many years of her life and she is trying her best not to bring her past traumas into her new profound freedom. She avoids dating to maintai...
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I have a confession to make. And yall better not judge me either.
I've never been to an actual nightclub before. I've gone to one with my aunt in Senegal, but come on now. She was my aunt. It didn't count.
I've been to small kickbacks and hotel parties with a maximum of ten people, but nothing bigger than that.
Ma used to be strict okay? She would say no to everything.
When I was sixteen, I went to my first party, with her permission (after much deliberation). It was one of my friend's hotel parties, and everybody spent the night except me. Ma came and picked me up at midnight.
That was the night I got high for the first time, and waterfall-ed a Smirnoff Ice, so it was also my first time tasting alcohol.
Ma picked me up at midnight as she said and she didn't even notice I was high as fuck in the front seat. I think.
Anyways I never got caught that night.
It was my first taste of freedom too. No, I wasn't peer pressured or anything. They were the friends who gave me the courage to stop being afraid of Ma and to start living my fucking life.
They taught me how to stop giving a fuck, and I wouldn't be the independent bad bitch I am today without them.
The next three years were spent with me smoking, skipping school to go out to eat, skipping school to go smoke, and skipping school to come back home and chill for the rest of the day.
When I started fucking, then I would skip school to come back home and have sex.
When Ma found out, she started kicking me out, fighting me, getting me arrested, and doing the absolute most.
I wasn't proud of it, but it was my rebellious phase. Strict parents raise sneaky children, and Ma tried so hard to keep me locked in the house (she literally installed burglar bars, and hid the keys to keep me in) that when I got a taste of freedom, I wilded out.
The crazy part was my grades never slacked. I was an all-A student, and involved in hella extracurricular activities. Class fucking president at that.
Even when I went to live in Senegal without her, I still wilded out a bit but was responsible enough to balance my education with my personal life.
Plus, Ma's expectations for me dropped and she stopped towering over me. She was getting older, and trying to live her life through me wasn't working for her anymore. She knew I was going to do what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it.
I grew up. I still never had been to a nightclub at my own free will before.
Never.
Anytime Faevi threw a kickback, I would hide behind the excuse of having something to study for. In reality, I really just did not want to come. There was no benefit. I didn't drink nor smoke anymore, and I was far from interested in socializing. I had no purpose.
