Not As Perfect As You Think

Part 2

JJ POV-

We finally finished the case and caught the unsub. The team and I are boarding the jet to finally go home, I am so excited to see Lilly. Em and I are sad we missed her first week of high school, but I know she understands or at least I hope she does.

I hope Lilly is not mad at us for being away for almost a week, I know she is a teen and go doesn't show her emotions but I also know em and I being away from her is hard to.

"Em do you think we should let Lilly go to the party with her friend, tomorrow night?"

"I don't know j"

After a period of deliberation we decided that she can go but it doesn't change the fact that I am still worried about her. But there will be some rules.

After a quick nap, we have arrived home, and I can't wait to see my baby girl.

Lilly's POV-

I know my parents are on their way home, that is what I have been focusing on all day and the fact that it is finally Friday. Today has not been the best day I have learned quickly that not all high school girls are nice.

I am halfway through the day and honestly I wanted to go home so bad, but at least I get to go to lunch next.

As I sat down with my homemade lunch, 2 girls walk up to me and place their lunch in front of me "might as well eat three lunches you are already big enough"

I was ashamed, humiliated. This is the 3rd time this week that this has happened. Am I actually that fat?

All I wanted is to be a size zero like them, but instead I am a size 7. I wasn't hungry anymore, it is not like I needed to eat. I just sat there for the rest of lunch trying not to cry.

I can't wait for this day to be over.

Classes have been taking forever today but it is finally my last class. Mom texted me saying to go straight home since they will already be their. I am so excited to see them.

Class is over, and I am so relieved that I finally get to go home. I need to go home and deal with my emotions because I have been trying not to cry all day and thankfully I was able to keep my composure.

As soon as I walked into the house I was welcomed with hugs. Despite how happy the hugs made me I still felt like crying.

"We missed you so much lily" Em said

" I know you did I missed y'all to"

I knew that they were about to ask about school and I really didn't feel like talking about it. So I just made up a lie. I have to remember though I am in a family of profilers they will probably be able to tell something is wrong. I just hope I know enough to be able to manage my micro expressions.

"How was school, we are really sorry we were not here for it, hope you understand."says JJ eager to listen.

"It was good, a whole different experience, but so far it is going good. And yea i totally understand. You are savings someone's life that is all I need to know."

Their was a smile on both of their faces, that means they didn't detect that something was wrong.

"Almost forgot Em and I have decided you can go to the party tomorrow."

I completely forgot about the party, I really didn't feel like going anymore because all people were going to see me as a fat pig.

"Actually I have decided I don't want to go, I am exhausted from school, and I won't know anyone that is going to be their besides Iman."

They both looked at me with a confused face, but I can tell that they understand where I am coming from "ok, that's fine with me." Said JJ

I was revived when they believed me, I walked up the stairs and I immediately took out my scale.

I had to know if what these girls said to me was actually true. I am hoping to be around 100lbs if I am any more than that then I am fat. I step on the scale anxious to find out my weight.

I look down and tears start to flood my eyes. 145lbs. I can't believe I thought I was skinny, beautiful, or healthy.

I have decided I am going to keep a book of everything I eat, to convince myself that I don't need that much food.

For the next couple of hours I just sit their trying to do homework, but I couldn't concentrate. It was almost like I was not in this reality.... daydreaming.

Then out of no where I hear Em say "dinners ready"

I really did not want to eat dispute how hungry I was. I went downstairs anyway. J handed me a plate of food, I just stared at it.

"Are you going to eat?"

" I am not really hungry my stomach is kind of upset."

I could tell they were both a little worried probably because I am never sick and I always eat dinner

" Could you eat a little bit? It may help you stomach stop hurting."

"Sure" I eat about half of my meal. I feel disgusted with myself. I can't believe I ate that much, I am just going to gain more weight.

After I was dismissed from the table I walked up to my room and shut my door. I felt so disgusted, I walked to the bathroom and bent over the toilet on my knees.

I knew I shouldn't but it is the only way I can get rid of what I just ate.

With that I stick my toothbrush into the back of my throat, and threw up over and over until their was nothing left to throw up.

I have tears in my eyes barley being able to see. Your stomach feels empty, that is what I wanted.

I walk out of the bathroom dizzy and sore, I climbed into bed and went to sleep feeling proud of myself.