Not As Perfect As You Think

Part 13

(This story is mainly in Lily's POV, but it will start switching POV more often soon)

Lilly's POV-
Today is the day,

Today is the day I get my dignity back

But today is also the day I have to fight my urges not to eat 10 times harder.

Today I finally am able to get my feeding tube out, it has been a almost a month since Valentine's Day, I have struggled with eating this past month but overall I persevered and got to 117lbs so they agreed to take my tube out.

The stipulations of me getting my tube out are that I have to weigh myself in front of my parents once a week for a year to make sure I am not loosing to much weight. Which I don't want to do because I am afraid they will judge how much I weigh.

I have school today, which is also my last day because I have already finished this years curriculum, and then later after my parents shift I have an appointment at 6:00 to get my tube removed and final checkup.

I am happy I don't have to go to actual school, I talked to my parents and they agreed that it is best if I just finish this year with my tutor and then go back for my sophomore year mainly to make sure I focus on my health.

After my appointment I am going on my first real date with Jake. I have always told him that when I get my tube out I would like to go on a date, because I didn't like going out with my tube. And thankfully he understood.

We are going to go ice skating, it is open all year, and then after we are going to have a picnic in the park under the stars. My parents, despite my protest, are saying I have to be home by 10 which I think is a little strict, but I will oblige.

~A few hours later~

"Hey kiddo" Emily says to me as I walk into the bullpen, I mean it's cute that she calls me kiddo but I feel like it makes me look like I am younger than I actually am.

It was 5:45 and Emily was in the bull pen packing up to go but I look around and can't find JJ. " hey we're is moma"?. Emily whips her head around and says "she is in Hotch's office, she should be out soon."

I can only wonder what that is about.

"You ready to go get your tube out?" Em said while turning to look at me.

"Yea I just want to feel some sort of freedom" i try to say while holding back my tru emotions which are that I still hate my body and that getting the tube out will stop forcing me to eat.

I know I need to stay healthy, but what is the point of healthy when my body looks like this?

I just want to fit in with society.....with the other girls my age......and I can't do that when I am the biggest one in the room....or where cute crop tops like them.

I get pulled out of my thoughts when JJ walks out of Hotch's office " you ready to go" she says with a smile on her face.

"Yep, what was that about" I say kinda concerned.

"Oh nothing, just a mistake on a case file of mine"

"Oh o-ok" that doesn't seem like JJ to make a mistake on a case file, she has been doing this for years.....I am just overthinking.

The whole ride to the doctors office was filled with not so unnoticeable stares from Jj and looks of worry portrayed from both parties.