Not As Perfect As You Think

Part 6

Lilly's POV-

It has been five days since my parents have left to California. Staying with Penelope if fun and all and the bright side is that she is not a profiler so I don't have to try so hard to hide it around her.

And I am glad because hiding a part of who you are is exhausting.

I have been taking 6 laxatives a day, and I feel like I have lost some more weight but I have to weight until I get home to check it.

I have to be careful, I want to loose weight but I don't want to get to the point where I have to have a tube.

Garcia had stepped out of the office for an hour so I was in charge of doing anything the team needed.the phone rang and I immediately perked up because I loved helping on cases"

I answered "Garcia we need you to check if Jacob black has any estranged siblings or family" it is as JJ.

"Hey mom, it is actually Lilly here, Garcia stepped out for an hour and she has been training me to help with stuff like this so one moment."

"Oh o-o-k"I could tell she was surprised, probably because she did not think I would be in the mood for something like this.

"So upon my finding I have found that Jacob has an sister named Miranda black, but the family found out that she was the daughter of the mother and her affair, it tore the family apart, and the father disowned miranda."

"That's great hunny, it looks like we have a lead so we might be home soon. You are doing great."

"Thx mom,bye love you"

With that I hung up and sat there in disbelief shocked that I actually pulled that off.

JJ POV-

"Bye mom, love you"

With that she hung up, this was a proud mom moment. She seemed to be happy and enjoying the thing she aspired to be.

A Day Later-

I can't wait to get home and see my baby girl. Everyone is asleep except Emily and I.

"I think she is getting better you know."

"I hope so." Em said with a hopeful look in her eyes

"Ya know she actually helped us find Miranda. She was the one that found the connection. Evidently Garcia has been teaching her."

She has a proud look on her face "really, wow I am so proud of her, she seems like she is working hard in her recovery, and now she is helping us solve cases, Maybe she will be ok"

With that both of us drift off to sleep waiting to arrive home.

Lilly's POV-

It is fun staying with Garcia, but I am so ready to see my parents and go home. I feel sick....mostly physical but in a way I feel almost emotionally worn out.

Maybe I am just crazy, but all I know is I need a break. From the lying, emptiness, and the self degrading thoughts.

I really need to feel better. I want to feel better.

I have decided once my parents get back I am going to try to come clean about the laxatives. I don't want to gain weight back but I am to exhausted to keep doing this.

I can feel myself slipping away of the person I used to be, to a person who only cares about their weight. I am exhausted from worrying so much. And from the weakness and pain I feel all the time from the lack of food.

Beauty is pain, but is their a point of to much pain that one can't handle it anymore?

*Ding*