Coming home (Larry Stylingson)

Chapter 12

TW-Self Harm

Author's Note- My friend just absolutely freaked out because there was a praying mantis outside the window, and then decided to lock me out when I went out to put it in a tree. :I

We also burnt a bag of popcorn really badly, but we ate it anyways. Also R if your reading this it was S and M. 

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Louis's POV-

After me and Harry's date I walked him back to the bakery and then called Liam to come pick me up. When he got there I got in his car and turned on the radio. 

"So?" Liam started. "What happened?" 

"Well, we kissed." I said, my smile still plastered on my face. 

"You kissed!" Liam practically yelled. 

"That is what I just said Li." Liam laughed at my sassed remark. 

"Sorry sorry." The boy chuckled. 

"What about you? Any progress with Brie?" I asked.

"No, I think she likes someone else." Li

"Who?" Lo

"Mazy" Li

"MAZY!!! oh, wasn't expecting that." I gaped.

"Neither, I thought she was straight, but I guess not." Li

"Don't worry, I thought she was straight as well. We'll find you someone else Li Li!" Lo

I noticed that we were pulling up to our hotel so I turned the radio off, which we weren't really listening to anyway. Liam parked the car and we got out. My phone started ringing in my pocket so I pulled it out, only to groan at the caller ID. Simon. Great. I answered it and brought it up to my ear. 

"What do you want Simon?" I asked. 

"Louis what were you thinking? Kissing a guy in public! What is wrong with you?! Do you know how bad this will be for your image!" Simon yelled. 

"I don't really care Simon." I stated. 

"Well I do, and I'm in charge of you. So we're going to be bringing Miss Calder back." Simon said. 

"Why! The fans knew she wasn't real anyway!" I argued. 

"Well then you're gonna make it more believable this time." Simon said.

"Come on! I don't want a fake girlfriend again!" I protested. 

"Too bad, you did this to yourself. If you weren't such a faggot you wouldn't have too." Simon insulted.

"Fuck off Simon!" I yelled and then hung up. 

Once I got into the hotel room I went straight to the bathroom. Liam was in his bedroom so I called that I was having a shower. Liam didn't question it and just shouted back an okay. 

I went into the bathroom and locked the door behind me. I took my shirt off and looked down at my arms. I'd tried counting the cuts before but never could, there was to many of them. My arms didn't look like arms anymore, they resembled a battle field. 

I walked over to the sink cabinet and pulled out what I was looking for. I opened the box and grabbed a blade out, winching as I accidentally pricked my finger. I looked at my reflection and remembered I had to turn the shower on because Liam thought I was showering. Once I had done that I looked back at the mirror. To say I looked bad was an understatement, I don't think I'd ever looked worse. I had dark bags under my red, puffy eyes and my feathered hair was flat, as if it had been squashed by a fly swat. I wasn't that skinny because I still ate normally. I normally ignored the voices telling me to stop eating. I still thought I was fat , I didn't care at this point though.

I took the blade to skin, reopening one of my week old cuts. I felt the tears roll down my cheeks as I cut myself again. Scarlet red blood dripped from both new and reopened cuts along my arms, me know having cut 3 new ones and reopened 2 old ones. 

Your an ugly fag

You deserve to die

Harry doesn't love you, he just feels sorry for you

Your an ugly, gay, unloved waste of space

I dragged the blade across my skin again, one time for each of the hurtful things the voice said. By now I had 11 cuts bleeding from my arms. I moved to the other arm bringing the blade down to my skin. 

You can't do anything right

Not even your mother loved you

Fizzy probably killed herself because of how annoying you are so she wanted to get away from your ugly ass

Now I was crying heavily, my heartbeat was rapid and I was having trouble breathing. I looked at myself in the mirror again and decided to get in the shower to clean myself up. I winched as the hot water hit my arms but ignored it and just stood there. 

After a good 10 minutes I got out of the shower and cleaning the blood off the floor and bandaged up my arms. I cleaned the blade and put it back into the box. I wrapped my towel around me, only covering my waist down because Liam was the only one home and he already knew about my cuts, and he was in his room anyone, and walked into my room. 

Only for Zayn to be standing there. I tried to pull the towel up around my arms but it was to late. I was caught. Zayn looked at me with a sympathetic look on his face and pulled me in for a hug. I second later he pulled away and said~

"I'll leave you to get changed, I'll be back in a minute." I just nodded and dropped the towel when he closed the door. I walked over to my suitcase and pulled out a fresh pair of clothes, and put them on. I pulled my shirt over my head and them opened the door for Zayn to come back in. 

"Lou, you did those to yourself." He said, motioning to my arms. 

"Yea, I guess I did." L

"Why Lou?" Zayn asked. 

"Because, it makes me feel better." I replied. 

"Oh Lou." He said, pulling me in for another hug, this one lasting longer."Do you have anything?"

"Yea, I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression about a year ago." I said.

"Who else knows?" Zayn questioned. 

"Mark knows about my anxiety and depression, but doesn't know I cut, Liam knows I cut but doesn't know about my other things, and you know about both." I answered. 

"You could have talked to me about it you know Lou." Z

"I know, I just didn't want people to know." L

"Well you can talk to me about now that I know." Zayn said. 

"I know." 

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Author's Note- I know that was short but it was quite eventful don't you think? The last few chapter have been longer so I think one short ones fine. 

So Louis has anxiety and depression, did you see that coming? I kinda did, but I mean I wrote it, so I kinda had to. SO yea.

I'm gonna do a character ask chapter next chapter so feel free to ask questions. I'm also gonna start doing a question of the day at the end of each of the chapters, so look out for that. 

Q/D (Question of the Day)- Nickname and fav 1D song/songs.