We Had A Bulletproof Love

I'm At The Edge Of The World

(Vic's POV)

×trigger warning; sorry if these trigger you to hurt yourself. I don't mean to hurt anybody. It's just...necessary for the plot. I love you all, stay strong×

I fucked up. So badly. Nobody wants me. Danielle didn't want me, Scarlett, Fer, Kellin, nobody. I'm nobody's hero. I should just dissappear. What about the fans? They don't have to understand. Surely though, some will. I'm sorry brother, forgive me father, I love you mother.

-Vic

I set the note down by the bed, tears welling in my eyes. Sitting cross legged at the side of my bed, I removed every colorful bracelet from my wrists, admiring each scar. While I did this, I mentally recited every reason to die. I picked up the razor that lay on the ground beside me, a single tear drop beading up on it. Mike had been the best brother I could've ever asked for; he'd been there to listen when I'd spoken to him about my problems in High School, he'd taught me the silly little things in life one should enjoy, he taught me so many things.

Scarlett would most likely not miss me. I mean, she didn't kill me, but she made me wish I was dead. There was still something about her that made me want to smile every time those dark eyes of her shined. Everytime she laughed or crinkled her nose or smiled, it made me get butterflies. I knew it was wrong; she was Tony's girl. I also knew it was wrong to kiss Fer. But could I really blame myself? I always wanted the one that I can't have.

Jaime was something else. He'd always made sure I smiled. I would miss the guy, but surely my absence would be overlooked.

Tony would surely be glad I'm gone. Nobody else to interfere with Scarlett. See? More reasons to be gone than to stay. I picked up the razor, and pressed it against my own skin, simply savoring the moment. Tears flowed freely down my face. I felt my phone vibrate under me, probably meaning it was dying. Die along with me. "Well world, here you have me. I am giving up. What did you expect?" I asked to nobody in particular, just society itself.

"I'm just a man, I'm not a hero. Just a boy, not a saviour. How am I supposed to be everything they expect me to be? I mean, look at me." I whispered to the mirror, seeing my own reflection. God, I'm going crazy. I was having a heartful conversation with thin air, everything I'd been wanting to say for quite some time now. "Goodbye agony, let me die alone. This was the story of Victor Vincent Fuentes, another soul that just couldn't take it anymore." I said yet again to nobody. "I will always love you," I whispered, mentally sending the note to everyone I had ever loved.

I picked up the blade again, since I had put it down to wipe some tears. For the first time in what seemed like a century, I smiled genuinely. Suddenly, there was a pain shooting through my arm, shocking, but satisfying. God I missed this. I may be going nuts due to the fact that I was having a conversation with myself, but I still felt the pain. Letting out a scream of pain, I once again smiled as I saw a depressing amount of blood run through my wrist.

"Hey Vic! Scarlett woke up so get dressed. Where are you man?" Jaime's voice came through the small hotel room. Fuck. "Vic what are you-" I watched as the blood drained from his face and his eyes grew wide, almost to an impossible extent. While he did this, I flicked my eyes from the blade to my own arm, a smile on my face. He cursed loudly, then stepped closer to take the blade from my hand.

"It's going to be okay, you'll get through this." He said, tears flowing down his own face now. At some point, he'd gotten to the first-aid kit and whipped out some bandages to wrap my arm in. Through all this, I'd given up on all movement. When he was done, he cleaned up the mess of blood around me and eventually took my shirt along with him since it seemed as if I'd participated in murder.

I just sat there, motionless, watching him curse and clean and curse even more. I felt guilty, but not enough to make me regret. When he got done, he sat in front of me and carefully took the back side of my wounded arm in his own, and stared deep in my eyes as if looking for an answer to why I'd done it. He found it alright.

"It's because of Scarlett, isn't it?" He whispered, almost to an inaudible sigh. I simply nodded, feeling like a child who'd broken his mother's favorite vase and was now being lectured. "Oh come here," he hugged my head to his shoulder, leaving me to slowly break down. "Love feels like war, Jaime. It's like I just can't win. I'm so sorry..." I choked. "Sshh sshh, I know. It's okay it's okay, but I have to call Mike. Okay?"   "Okay."

×
This is Vic's POV over what happened in the last chapter. Yep. So love you guys.

Ps. Anybody listen to Troye Sivan here? I'm not a fan but I like his song called My Happy Little Pill. It's the only one I really know, just thought I'd mention that. Sorry if this triggered you, I promise more happiness, and if this hurt you, let me know, please. I'm here for you no matter what. You're not alone. Okay? I love you all no matter how bad times seem.

Listening to Centuries~Fall Out Boy