ꜱᴏʟᴀɴɢᴇʟᴏ ᴏɴᴇꜱʜᴏᴛꜱ

Sunshine Boy

I Can't Tell You Why- Eagles

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When Nico was little, he didn't understand the things that his parents did. He didn't understand what laws were, why some people didn't dress like he did, why he couldn't play with the other kids. Bianca tried to explain things to him, but he was more interested in watching the kids outside his window play. They always looked so happy, so full of life. They didn't have to sit through boring lectures from a nanny, didn't have to wear clothes that weren't allowed to get dirty, didn't have to eat dinner at tables so long that Nico couldn't see the other end.

One of the things Nico didn't understand was courting. He thought it was a dance. He'd been to a few of them, all dressed up in the stuffiest of clothes. There, everyone would twirl and spin around. It almost looked like playing, and it almost felt as fun. Still, Nico didn't see the other kids at dances. He looked for them, but his father said that they weren't allowed to come. His mother just gave him a small smile, holding out her arms to dance with him.

"I like the boy with the sunshine hair," Nico says. Bianca looks at him. She'd been practicing her painting, carefully coloring the paper to resemble the trees outside their windows. Nico noticed that she had left out the children playing.

"Why not the boy with the green eyes?" Bianca asks. "The one you danced with two nights ago?"

Nico shrugs. That boy had been nice, but he hadn't smiled like the sunshine boy. Nico couldn't see himself laughing with the green-eyed boy. He'd been too stiff, too awkward. No, Nico liked the way the sunshine boy played. He always had a lot of friends with him, and they would always be playing something that made everyone smile. Nico wanted to smile like that, but he wasn't allowed to have any fun.

"He's okay," Nico says. "The sunshine boy is better."
Bianca just shakes her head. Nico knows she doesn't understand. She's had her eyes on a pretty boy with brown eyes and dark hair. Father approves of the pairing. Father approves of Bianca. If she were a boy, she'd have the crown and the kingdom. Instead, Nico's the boy, so the crown goes to him. By default.

"Maybe you should ask Father again," Bianca says quietly. "He might let you go out. I heard him and Mother talking." Nico shrugs. He's not sure. He doesn't ask.
-
"I want to dance with him," Nico says. Because that's what love is, he's learned. Love is holding hands and quick kisses and dancing together. That's how Mother and Father fell in love. That's how Bianca fell in love. (Except, Bianca doesn't believe in love, she says. Nico doesn't understand. She'd done everything right. She'd held hands and danced and only kissed when it was okay.)

Nico's still learning. He's only eight, and he's not his father's favorite. Every day he's forced to sit through lessons and boring lectures. He's supposed to know how to ride, how to eat, how to dress. He didn't know there was more than one way to do something, doesn't know why there is. Dances are now the only time he gets to see other people outside of his home, but they're still disappointing. He hates holding hands with strangers, but he always imagines them to be the sunshine boy. That makes them a little better.

Nico's nine when he understands what money is. He's never handled it before, never had to. His parents take care of business, of everything, really. He's never known why money was so important. It was just silver and gold coins. Why would anyone want something so plain and boring? (He likes to stack them, see how tall they can get. Other than that, they're no fun. The sunshine boy doesn't play with money.)

"It's power," Bianca says. "Whoever has the most, has the power." Nico doesn't understand about power either. The only way he can think about it is with his parents. His parents have money, they have power. He doesn't. But Bianca says he has power, even if he doesn't have money. Because his parents have money. He wishes it were simpler. He wishes that he could play with the sunshine boy without having to worry about money and power. Laughter and smiles were free, right?
-
When he's ten, his father takes him into the village. Nico doesn't understand what he's seeing. His head is stuffed with facts, laws, dates. He knows, but he doesn't understand. His family has so much money. They could help these people. They could make everyone's life better. Instead, they throw balls and social evenings and feasts. They order their clothes and ride in carriages instead of walking like everyone else.