"Why is it so tiring? Why am I getting tired?"
- Sometimes, our hearts beats because it expresses the love that it's receiving. The love where the right is. Where everything is fine, you did the right thing but why does it feels wrong?
PCY × PJM
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- Jimin -
As the saying says.
Time; The Healer and the Killer.
We're running out of time- no, she's running out of time.
I won't care for myself, all I could picture is her crying and regretting everything, her pools of tears are flowing and shining on the ground.
I can't take it whenever I'm seeing her sad, and even before everything would fall apart again. I should give her the only way so that she would be able to catch in on time.
Leave me, leave us, leave everything.
I can sacrifice all of that.
Just, be her to be with her father again. I promised myself that I will not let her go, but things are too tough for I to do it again.
"Pathetic..."
I can kneel down and beg, cry out my all. But I won't be able to take the time running on my hands. It's just impossible.
"Mmm." She mumbled while still in her slumber.
"Shhh, close your eyes. Sleep. Sleep." I pat her head on my shoulder.
I hug her sideways, protecting her if the bus would go rough cause of the rocky road.
She seems to not be in a peaceful sleep yet so I continue to pat her head like a puppy drifting to sleep while I'm humming a lullaby.
Like a baby, she falls asleep on my shoulder again while waiting the bus to our destination.
While in a peaceful sleep, I kept thinking about what happened earlier.
She is dazed on how can I say such things. I explained to her everything, from A to Z, every detail that I can give, every info that I know.
"Including her biological father's disease..."
She cried to me and said that she will still think if she would believe me or not, but I'm sure that even if she would not believe me, I know that the proofs I've shown holds enough power for me to convince her that everything is true.
Though, she still telling herself that she won't be able to have the courage to face the truth, I let her for now.
I notice how she is trembling earlier, and I am scared that I might scared the hell out of her so I just stop things for a while.
When we talk earlier, I know she misses her father so much, she doesn't really have that spirit to face him yet.
The way she talks to me on how much she longed for her father is pushing me even more further to take a step that I know could break whatever relationship we had.
I felt even more guilty that I already am.
Nevertheless, how much she is scared on what might happen in the future. She needs to be with him until his last breath. Do whatever he wants and live the remaining time to the fullest. She needs to continue her father's heritage and she needs to take care on what everything he would tell her to do.
