terrible things :: ashton irwin

- vingt-quatre -

I remembered the ambulance and the firemen attending to the gruesome scene as I stood there on the sidewalk wrapped in my father's arms, trying to hold back my tears.

****

"She is dead, I'm sorry." The doctor said, walking passed us. Those words hit me, seconds after the doctor said them, having me question reality. This could not be happening. Aunt Lena was the only person who understood me, but now she was gone and Ashton will be going soon. I guess I am left alone, again.

If it was to teach Ashton a lesson, this shouldn't have happened. I slumped down on the hospital chair in the waiting room, just shocked and afraid. When Helena came she brought me hope that everything would have gotten better, but now she was gone. Everyone I loved just leaves me, it wasn't fair. Life had me questioning everything, especially my existence.

****

We just came back from the funeral and the telephone rang so I picked it up.

"Hello."

" Emma." A crying Ashton answered.

"Yeah?"

"I heard about the death, Im sorry, Im so fùcking sorry this happened but I-I didn't want this to happen, I-."

"Ashton, it's okay." I interuppted.

It was not not Ashton's fault. Helena wanted to save the paintings and she did, but lost her lif in the process.

"Ashton it's okay, I just don't want you to feel guilty because in a way you're not."

"That's what my mom told me."

"Well talk about this more when you get back okay, I love you."

"I love you too."

Of course I cried and mourned over her, it was my aunt, my dearest aunt who was more like a mother to me than my own mother. I did not self-harm because I decided to stay strong, she would want me to, but resisting these urges is very hard for a self harmer.

Without cutting sometimes you feel like there is something that you are not doing. I didn't make new scars, I just didn't let the old ones heal. I would constantly open back old ones, remembering and signifies the old memories I had, I needed to let go of the past and so did Ashton.

[6 Months Later]

Ashton's POV

I arrived at the airport, I was expecting Emma to come and meet me but instead it was just my mom.

I felt awful, but I was back here again.

She hugged me tightly and I cried in her hair, just like what I used to do when I was five years old.

"Ashton just forget everything, please it will be the best thing for everybody."

The Luke, Calum and Michael all went home with their families and I went home with my mom. I began to unpack when she came into my room.

"Ashton I have something to tell you that your dad told me years ago." she said sitting on my bed.

I sat beside her eager to hear and holding my tears up. Trying to hold up the tears in her voice she began to speak, "Just minutes before your dad died he told me that he wanted you to forget all this drama, even if it meant forgetting him Ashton." I wiped my face, I did not want to forget my father but I did want to forget this drama, "and Ashton, I knew about Helena I just did not wanted to tell you but I hope you know that she tried to make everything right."

I placed my head on her shoulder and my mom wrapped her arms around my stomach, embracing me.

"I'm so sorry that I killed her." I cried.

"What? Ashton you never killed her don't blame yourself, it was her choice."

"No."

"Yes honey, she loved you and you should forget it at least for Emma's sake."

Emma, of course. That was her aunt what if Emma hated me now?

She loved her aunt alot, if I brought this back up she might feel hurt. I cannot hurt her. I needed to forget everything and start a new life but this was a hard task to complete.

-

Short Chapter update.

You should forgive and forget before its too late basically. One more chapter until this book ends!! xx

Then the epilogue and playlist.........

Please check out the teaser for my new book- Los Angeles|| a.i

I swear its awesome. Its better than this book: has more description, better planning and a more experienced writer lol.