Chapter 22

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***Warning: This Chapter Includes Steam***

Chapter 22

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"What are your plans this upcoming week?" Jake asks on our way back.

"Work..."

"That's it?"

"Yeah, between two jobs and basic survival needs, there's hardly time for anything."

Jake smiles, eyes on the steering wheel. "Can you make room for me?"

I chew on the inside of my cheek for a moment. "What for?"

"I don't know," he says sarcastically. "I can email you the agenda prior to the meetings."

"Perfect." I nod and he chuckles. "I'm not even kidding, this is terrifying to me."

"What is?"

"This... this thing between us. I don't know if you're just a masochist but I'm terrified of hurting you. And it sucks that I constantly push you away."

"Then don't..."

"I can't. I can't help it. This is why I ditched you at the club. I know I have issues. Do I want to die with them? No. But it's not an easy fix."

"Hey..." he says softly and intertwines our hands on my lap. "Look at me."

I meet his gaze and he holds it for a second before looking back at the road.

"You're not the only one who struggles," he says. "I do too. Sometimes I don't know if I'm good enough. I doubt myself." He smiles briefly at me and squeezes my hand. "But I like who I am when I'm with you. Like last night, when you told me to fix that mistake and pushed me, I appreciated that. You could've left me alone, but you didn't. That's how I feel with you, it's that simple."

"That was nothing. You've done ten times more since we've met."

"It's not a competition, it's based on who needs what. Sometimes you might need my help more than I need yours."

"That's the issue! I don't want that unequal shit. It creates codependency."

"It doesn't, unless you manipulate me."

"How do you know I'm not?" I protest, pulling my hand away.

He tries to suppress his smile. "What type of a manipulator would try to convince me that she's manipulating me?"

"A very good kind." I raise my eyebrow. "It's called reverse psychology."

"You give yourself too much credit and clearly doubt my competence." He chuckles when I scoff. "How else would you explain that? Apparently you're so good at lying that I, a grown ass man, can't tell the difference."

"An apple doesn't fall far from the tree." I look out the window. "What if I'm just like my mom. I lure people in with innocent victimhood and suck the kindness out until there's nothing left."

"Has your mom ever apologized?"

"What?" I turn to look at him.

"Has she ever gone to therapy? Has she admitted she has issues?"

I look ahead and swallow the lump in my throat. What a dream that would be... to live a day when my mom accepts her shortcomings, when she changes...

"I've met your mom..." Jake continues, voice serious. "You're nothing like her. Don't you even dare compare yourself."

"How many relationships have you been in, Jake?"

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