TROUBLE

thirteen

The famous last words of any heartbroken person is: Why did this happen to me? What did I do to deserve this?

I can't say shit like that, I'm not heartbroken.

I'm just so confused on why he is pushing me away to protect me, aren't I safer closer to him, but that is an irrelevant detail. Well actually it's not. This all circles back to my family, with their secrets to "protect me", but aren't I safer knowing them, even if it puts me in danger.

Fuck this man. I swear all I'm doing is fighting people about how they should trust me. I am not some weak princess who needs protecting all the fucking time, I've learnt to protect myself over the years.

I have secrets too.

I mean granted I am not telling my family them, but you know all in good reason and time. When they start spilling so will I.

But back to Miles, I am confused why aren't I feeling anything? Should I be sad that someone a kind of had feeling for pushed me away? Should I be angry that once again everything is down to secrets? Should I be relieved, I mean I am only 20, I shouldn't be ready or willingly wanting a relationship?

Fuck, emotions and feelings are mad. You never fucking now what you should do.

It may be best just to ignore it ever happened. I knew the guy less than a month, how was I supposed to gain any legible feelings for someone in that amount of time.

A month isn't even that long.

Ignoring this is going to be a lot easier.

"Hey bubs, where did you go?" Cameron comes bouncing over with Cyrus on her arm, he looks like he holding up all of her weight. She drops down into the seat beside me while Cy goes opposite me.

"Just to get some fresh air, it was getting too stuffy in here." I say back, mustering all confidence and not letting them hear the lies in my tone.

Cameron double looks me, trying to read my face, thinking I had been got, she smiles; "same girl, I might get out of here soon I have clinical trials in the morning."

"And you are still here? Your clinicals start at like 7am and it's like 1."

"I'll be fine, it's only short procedures tomorrow, I can do that shit in my sleep." I roll my eyes before laughing, Cameron takes one of the many shots on the table. "Come on little ones, you may only be 20 but I can't handle all these shots by myself." Cy and I pick up and shot each before clinking them together and throwing them back.

Now I know why I fucking hate tequila.

Cameron pushes 2 more shots in front of each of us, Cyrus and I make eye contact and just shrug. If we get caught, I'd rather deal with it drunk than sober, Papa and Nonna will go all Italian on our asses and that shit is scary.

"To the Twins!" We clink the glasses once, quickly emptying the contents down our throats.

We pick up the final glass-"To the hangover!!"

"TO THE HANGOVER!!"

That has definitely taking the edge off of everything.

"Cece your phone is going off like crazy." I look down at my phone and she was right, I had 4 missed calls and 7 texts. Who is it?

I stand up, walking through the people to one of the side doors ending up in a small office, which I tend to use when I need to sober up before going home. Decked out with water, ibuprofen and ramen noodles.

'Cecilia Saldaro.'

'No need for the professional greeting darling'

'Zeke wasn't expecting you. Why are you calling me on a private number?'