Too Many Words to Say

Chapter 2

Two days later Allie was discharged from the hospital. The doctors confirmed what Pete had told her.

"The fact that you'd been having pains in your back for the last couple of days before you had the fall and that you'd experienced blood loss, seems to suggest that you were about to miscarry the baby at the time you fell down the stairs," they told her. "You will probably find that you have no problems with your next pregnancy and go on to have a healthy baby."

Allie listened to what they had to say, her disappointment so great that she found it difficult to believe what they had to say, sure that it was just platitudes to comfort her.

Pete arrived to take her home. He hadn't spent much time at the hospital with her, having taken her request to be left alone seriously. This had given her plenty of time to think about the state of their relationship and she had come to the conclusion that it was pretty bad. She had already lost the one thing that she'd wanted most in the world. A baby. More and more she felt that it had been her only chance of having a family. She and Pete were almost on the point of separating. Her child had gone and he was going to be the next to disappear from her life.

During the drive home, neither of them spoke, the radio being the excuse not to speak. Once in the house, Pete had taken her case into the kitchen, the contents being put into the washer. Both of them sat down to have a drink, neither of them speaking.

"We can't go on like this," Allie eventually said. "We need to talk."

"What about?" he asked, looking almost puzzled that she would want to talk about anything. "Are you going to try and blame me for what happened?"

"No," she replied, noting the defensive look on his face. "But we need to clear the air. I'm not happy with the way things are at the moment."

"Yeah the doctors said that you'd be upset after what happened," he began, "It's only to be expected. But it'll pass."

"I'm not just talking about losing the baby, and the fact that you're not keen on having them," said Allie calmly. "There are other things as well and have been for a while now."

"Other things? What other things?" Peter asked, still not understanding what she meant.

"The going out and drinking to God knows what time in the morning for a start," she began.

"Oh here we go! Can't I enjoy myself now?" he retorted, "You don't like to see me enjoying myself do you?"

"I never do that, you go out without me most times now," Allie replied, not wanting things to escalate into a shouting match. "You don't seem to want me to go with you anymore."

"Yeah because you're so miserable. Why should I take you with me if you're going to sit there looking miserable all night? I work hard, I deserve some time out."

"Yes of course you do. So do I. But I never seem to get it." Allie took a deep breath as she asked him the question she'd been dreading the answer to. "Are you seeing someone? Have you met someone else?"

Pete thumped the table and got up, coming to her side and looming over her. Allie instinctively moved back slightly. She knew that look on his face from painful experience and wanted to have space between them.

He glowered at her as he spat out his denial.

"No I'm not. Why do you ask that?"

"I've heard rumours about you when I've been in the shop. People stop talking when I come in. But I've heard them. Its someone who works in the pub isn't it?"

Pete stared at her, the muscle in his jaw twitching as he clenched it. His face was white as he glared at her. Finally he looked away, unable to look her in the eyes.