Short Stories

Ashes Ashes We All Fall Down

(TW car crash drinking)

They tried not to remember the accident as the looked down at the small locker on their chest. A silver heart with Princess written in her own handwriting reflected the sun.

They were slowly recovering and today had been cleared from the hospital. She had specific instructions for when she died. She would be cremated after whatever she could donate had been and then her kids, her spouse, parents, siblings, closest friend, would all get some of her ashes. She didn't want anyone to hold onto them though, she said that they needed to let go.

So today, they looked around the strip mall for anything familiar. The building was still here but the gaming store had since been changed to another restaurant. They muttered something under their breath before looking down at the sidewalk. A car drove past, honking angrily and all of a sudden they were back.

They glanced over at her while she sang along to the radio. It was a song she knew that they didn't but they tapped her thigh along to the rhythm. She smiled and glanced back at the three kids in the backseat.

"I don't see any seatbelts," she smiled. The youngest groaned while all three clicked them on.

"Why do only we have to wear them?" The youngest, a girl with blond pigtails and too big overals whined.

"Everyone should be wearing them," she sideyed her Spouse.

"Okay I'll put it on in just a sec," they relented. "I'm still driving."

She went back to singing and the oldest in the back joined her. They looked over and smiled again. Someone screamed from the back as a car flew into them. They flew from their seat and rammed into her. They walked out with mild injuries like the kids while she'd been the only casualty.

A tear dropped to the pavement and they swiped it away. She wanted them to move on and forgive themself.

"I'm sorry.." they whispered as they opened the locket and mixed her asked with the dirt in the sidewalk where they'd had their first kiss so many years ago. They'd already apologized before she had died but they had to do it again, here and now. They weren't apologizing for just the crash but every time they'd argued or gotten upset or they'd eaten the last cookie. They would have given anything to hear her yell at them one more time for taking her food.

They took a deep breath. They hadn't realized they'd been crying. "I must look fucking crazy," they sniffed. "The things I'd do for you."

They stood, leaning against the brick wall and pressing their forehead against it. Soon enough they got chased off by the restaurant's manager and walked back to their car.

They were the last to spread the ashes. The kids had gone to work finding the perfect place a week or two after her funeral. They'd been so proud of their kids. They'd had to explain to Elbrey that no, they couldn't leave her in Narnia even if Mom liked the movies. And no Rory we can't go that far up in Switzerland we'd be lucky to make it that far out of country. They knew exactly where they'd leave her from the start but letting her go was the problem.

They sat in their car for a while longer before driving home. The kids had stayed with a friend of theirs and his daughter so they didn't have to take a breath and smile before walking in the door. They were free to get a drink and sit alone on their bed and cry. They did fall asleep and stayed that way for a while even though they were alone in the large bed in the room and in the house that felt that much bigger when it was empty.

They would be okay. It'd be a little while longer but soon they wouldn't have to turn over pictures or hide in rooms. They would be okay and they would see that they aren't alone.