Short Stories

The List

It had been a really hard night. There was some family stuff going on and then there was the fighting.. we hadn't fought like that in so long.. I knew they weren't really mad at me. And I wasn't at them- of course. Of course I wasn't mad. I was scared.. and I still am. I will always be scared..

After the initial shouting, I was silent. Fighting tears. They were getting more and more frustrated with me and, that I understand. I've always been too stubborn. I can't even remember what started the fight in the first place but it just kept going. It kept going.. They said they were tired. I was tired. I didn't respond. They shook their head and mumbled something about going to a friends before slamming the door shut and leaving. I heard the truck door slam. Then the engine roar as they shot out of the driveway.

I crumbled to the floor. I should have called. I don't know why I didn't. Pride. That's always been a problem in my family. No one apologized or it'd hurt their pride. They were too prideful to admit they were wrong or hurt or scared or sad or sorry or even to leave dangerous situations. Not that I was in danger- I know they'd never hurt me. Not on purpose. Not even on accident. But I was hurting. Instead of driving after them, calling them, or calling the friend they were with- I sat on my bed and I sobbed. It was pathetic. And it hurt. It physically hurt to cry. You know those kinds when you cry so hard your body writhes like you're being exorcised? That's the kind of crying. After I'd calmed down I drank the worlds hottest cup of tea and played music so loud I almost got a complaint.

It wasn't until maybe midnight I even looked at my phone. I had five missed calls and dozens of messages.

"Please pick up something happened"
"You need to come here now we can't wait"
"We're heading to the hospital. Meet you there"
"Look I know you're upset but you have to be here. They need you"

I didn't even finish reading them all before I called back and put the phone on speaker. I didn't even bother to change out of my sweatpants and sports bra. I was halfway out the door before I snatched a sweatshirt and threw myself in the car.

"Finally you're calling back."

"Now is absolutely not the time you have me so worried I'm either going to throw up or crash. What happened?" I snapped at the phone.

"I'm sorry. You weren't answering."

"Now you're not answering me. Are. They. Okay. What. Happened." I didn't take my eyes off the road as I broke about ten different laws and cut off five cars. I flipped off some asshat in a Ford and screamed at an SUV.

"They got here after your fight and I went to get something from the back. They were only out of my sight for like five minutes. But- it was enough- I didn't even realize what happened until-"

"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?" I was in tears now, fearing the worst. If what I was thinking happened.. it'd be my fault..

"They overdosed- they're going to be okay. The told me and I was able to get them here in time and the doctors pumping their stomach now and it was only a few but if we hadn't-" I had already slammed on my brakes in the parking lot of the hospital. My chest rammed into the steering wheel and my phone fell in the back seat. I heard a muffled voice ask if I was okay but I ignored it.

'You let this happen.' I wanted to say. 'You left them. You shouldn't have let them anywhere near a medicine cabinet.'

But I didn't. If there was anyone to blame, it was me.

I snatched up the phone and choked out the only words I could. "I'm here."

A nurse shows me to the room. Our friend is outside it and shot up seeing me. He was crying but you wouldn't be able to tell. But I know him. They apologized. Called me by name. I shook my head and swiped at my face. He asked my question for me.

"Can we go in?" The nurse nodded at him and he led me by the arm inside. I fell beside the bed. Not as dramatic and Romantic as the movies. I literally fell. Seeing everything's round them.. the heart monitor, the nurses, the white walls- it was too much.

"Are you okay?" Their voice was weak. Quiet. Raspy. They sat up and winced. I couldn't tell if it was pain or realizing that I was here. I was seeing all that.

"I-I'm okay.." I whisper. My eyes watered fast looking at their red face. I reached out with my hand and they watched me. I held their cheek and they leaned against it. They squinted their eyes shut.

"Hi baby.." they whispered shakily.

"Hi sweetheart," I choked out. I wasn't even able to finish the last word.

I yanked my hand back to bite my knuckle. I just shook my head, unable to get the apology out. I was shaking violently now, trying to to cry much harder. Not to sob and blubber and scream out loud. They sat up again and took my face, leading me up again to them.

"D-don't cry. Don't be sorry. Just be here.. I'm so sorry.." their voice shook like jello.

I made a small choking sound and squeezed my eyes shut. They kissed my forehead and moved over so I could lay beside them. I was very careful not to hit anything. I buried my face in their chest and held them close to me. We cried like that for a while.

"I was so scared.." I whispered when I finally found my voice.

"I know.. I'm so sorry.." they shuddered and my side tensed and relaxed. I winced and pulled them closer.

"Don't apologize," I murmured back. "Don't go to sleep."

"I won't.."

Our friend stayed in the seat beside the bed to keep an eye on everything. He rubbed our backs and made jokes about the nurses and the TV. We laughed half heartedly. He could tell.

I randomly listed off things. Sometimes they were things we talked about and sometimes they were things we liked or people. An hour after I got there and we hadn't moved. "Stargazing." To which they replied with a soft, "Sunsets." When our friend had left to get food that no one ate. "Kids." They replied with, "Kitties." And a while later I gave a shaking breath an even shakier, "A place by the coast." They smoothed back my hair and kissed the top of my head, "A secret garden. With willow trees." It went on like that until we had fallen asleep. I stayed up with them until it was alright for them to go to sleep. Our friend stayed too. I don't know if he stayed for us, for them, or some other reason. But I'm glad he stayed. I'm glad they stayed.