The War Hammer ( AOT x Male Reader story)

Chapter 6: Desertion

"And that thus far, is what they have told me, and the decision I have reached" I finished, taking the cigarette from my mouth and allowing the plumes of smoke to drift up to the ceiling. I tilted my head back, my feet up on the desk in our room and just watch the golden sunset light bounce off the smoke billowing off the roof through half closed eyes. Nicotine, I have found, is great for calming me down, allowing me to enjoy the moment im in and forgetting everything else happening in the world. Sure it would normaly kill me, but my regeneration abilities take care of that. I slid my gaze over to Marco sitting beside me, slipping the end of the cigarette back into my mouth, taking a quick pull before offering it to him between my index finger and thumb. He had a look of shock on his face from what he just heard, but refused to meet my eyes. He took the cigarette and took a toke, before coughing his lungs up  and beckoning me to take it back. I did and placed the cig in the ash tray, before standing up and grabbing a mug from one of the shelves and filling it with water from the small sink we had in the corner. I brought it back and handed it to him and he eagerly took it, downing it before I even sat back down.

After a few seconds of him panting and the tipping of the paper against the ash tray, dumbing off all the ash built up at the end, Marco finally spoke.

"And you believe this is the only way for your own survival" he replied quietly, also putting his feet up on the desk and staring up at the small window near the top of the roof, at the golden beams pouring through, illuminating the room in yellow. I nodded, not even looking at him. I couldn't. Not after what I just said. Im young. I dont wanna die just yet. I know this is selfish considering the state I will leave my comrades and friends in, but it will pan out better in the long run.

"Y/n....." Marco said in a hushed tone. I glanced over, him still staring up at the window, the beautiful sun casting delicate shadows down on top of us and the smoke gliding through the slight gap at the bottom, escaping into open air.

"If this is what you have to do....

"Then I will support you. Your my friend, and im not about to let you die on me just yet" he smiled slightly, still gazing up. My eyes widened a bit. 'Wasn't expectin that response' you thought, before smiling slightly, taking back the cigarette and taking another pull, joining his gaze up at the window. At the sky. That open air.

"I suppose I should let the rest of the cadets know. Except Reiner maybe" i muttered, getting a laugh from Marco as he slowley stood and stretched, turning to me and smiling.
"Well, we should get you prepared, shouldn't we?" he said.
"Yea" I smiled back, as I too stood, stretched and placed the cig back in my mouth for one final pull, before crushing it in the ash tray.

"Lets figure out a way to get me to Paradise" i grinned.

Over the next few days, I informed the cadets on what would be happening over the next week or so, all except Reiner as Im sure he would have no problem ratting me out. I got a kick in the head from Annie, accompanied with a lot of grumbling, a disapproving look and lecture from Porco, a sad look and loads of questions on the how and the why from Bertholdt and Pieck, but somewhat of a prideful look from Zeke. I explained my reasoning, told them I am not faltering when it comes to this, and told them all everything. The dreams, the memories, everything. I then looked them all in the eyes and said I trusted them all with this information and that I would see them again, no matter what the cost.

Now, all that was left, was Reiner.

I know just how loyal to Marley Reiner is, through everything he has dealt with in his life, I did not blame him for how he is now. Its like a machine that activates after a slect few words, something that he was shaped and made into. I needed a way of convincing him of my absence for the first few days without arrousing suspicion. I believe the best case scenario is to say nothing at all, distance myself from him and the cadets for the next two days to take out and possible involvement with them in the escape from the frame of the picture. Pure ignorance here could be the best strategie. Stay in my room longer, become defiant against comming out, locking the door while I am inside, spend longer in bed, all the while I can spend that time planning the next few steps of the strategie. Conveniantly, the ship that takes passengers to Paradise leaves the dock at 8pm and arrives at the dock at sunrise the following morning, and training starts at 8pm and finishes at 6pm in the day, giving me plebty of time to get on unnoticed, arrive at Paradise unnoticed and escape, before the alarm sounds.

Now, while I am possitive they will indeffinatly raise the alarm once they discover of their most powerful shifters absence, and while I am certain they would take an educated guess of me heading in the direction of Paradis, they have no proof to back up such a statement. I had no reason to after all. I was a killing machine, sent away to slaughter opposing armies, not some suicidal maniac who goes for the potential thrill of being on deaths door. Who of all people would willingly go to Paradise after all, with giant man-eating giants every 10 steps you take?

Now, the only thing I had to worry about, was a method of transportation. A weekly shipment of Eldians to Paradise, like I tbought of earlier, was the only form I could potentially think of, though I had no Idea how I could potentially sneak on, unnoticed. Then it occured. The shipments of Eldians who were to be sent to the Island left the doc each Friday with rakefulls of people each time. It would be easy to sneak in and blend in with the crowd if I made myself un-distinguishable from the rest somehow, possibly through some self harm to the face to make my features unrecognisable. Once the ship docks at the Island, I will wait till we are brought outside, before transforming, leaving no Marleyan survivors and sinking the ship. It is the most effective way of handling the situation. And with the Eldian people who were captured, I could potentially leave them at the dock as it could be difficult for them to blend in with what little population may be remaining on that island. Or, I could somehow make my way to the back of the line allowing them all to be transformed, before transforming myself. Cruel, I know, but there is little choice If I want the other millions of my people around the world to survive the next century. Then again, destroying the ship could cause suspicion of the sudden disappearnace.

I leaned back, my arms behind my head as all these strategies ran through my mind ,as the moonlight cast a sleek shine against the wooden floor next to me through the window that once shone of gold, a million at a time. This had to be carried out with precision and accuracy to ensure success. I have two days to plan this, before I take the first step towards freeing those I call my people, from the false boundries we have been placed within.

Millions will die because of me. Yet millions will be saved because of me. Yet I have to keep my head down, keep my stance strong, never faltering.

"I.......

.......will keep....

....moving forward" I whispered to myself as sleep wrapped me in her cold embrace.