Ash and Eiji

Ch.21 Smile

I don't remember much, but I do remember Ash. He was there. Like always, for me. I remember him rushing in. Taking me in his arms, and hugging me. After that, blank. I think I passed out. But honestly, lately it's been hard to think. It's like my mind is a blank void. And it's like a quiet buzzing noise is following me around. Along with random waves of dizziness almost sweeping me away, and into the abiss. I feel like I'm not really doing whatever it is I'm doing. Like I'm not really there. Like I'm floating and waiting to wake up. It's not exactly unpleasant. But when Ash comes in, and he looks at me, he has this look on his face. He always looks worried now. I haven't seen him smile ever since we went to that restaurant with my old "friend". Ofcourse he'll offer the sad, sympathetic smile, and the proud smile when he's talking to me. He even does one when someone is almost crossing a line. It's quite scary. My lip curls at this thought and I brush my hair from my eyes. What I meant by not seeing him smile, was that he hadn't been watching a movie and smiled when he saw his favorite part. He wouldn't crack a grin when Sing would say something dumb. He won't even laugh with his gang anymore. And I know I'm the cause. He's done so much for me yet I'm bringing him down. That's why, I'm in our bedroom, locked away by a heavy quilt and dark curtains. Nothing but silence and the pitter patter of the rain against the window. I actually like the rain. It has it's own thing and I can relate to the aura it sets amongst the city. I hope Ash is having fun. But knowing him he's probably gonna call. As the phone rings, I think why do I even question myself. I leave the warmth enclosing dome of safety and stumble to the phone. I pick it up without checking the caller ID and say, "Hello?" "Eiji." My features soften and my body relaxes at the voice. "Hi Ashhh." I hear a chuckle from the other side and a question I've grown to hate. "How are you doing?" I don't answer but luckily it seemed, I didn't have to. "Did you make sure to eat? And shower? Did you leave the lights and TV on like I asked? Silence isn't for you right now." "Uh, I-I d-" "Dont lie to me, I know you don't like to so don't force yourself. I won't be mad. I'm not your Dad or anything." He was right. As per usual. "W-Well, yeah, I know that. And uh... yes, yes, no." "Eijiiii, turn them on, now." I huffed but nodded. Hiw did he always know? This is a stupid rule. I pouted and slumped over to the TV remote, pressing the power button. I sarcastically sauntered over to the light switch and aggressively flipped it. With an annoyed sigh I went back to my phone, which I had left on the counter, and spoke. "There!" I heard a laugh from the other line. "I bet you did that sassy thing you always do when I'm right. Now tell me...how hard did you slam the remote on the couch?" My cheeks went red and my mouth opened and closed while I thought of what to say. "For the record, I was not 'sassy' as you say." "Mhmm, sure." "Goodbye Ash!" "Bye sweetie, love youuu." I huffed once more before cutting the line. And again a smile appeared on my lips. All because of him. I love you too.
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He was finally back as I heard keys in the lock jingle. "Eiji!" I got up from the couch and made my way to the front door. "Hey Ash, how was it today?" "Pretty ok actually. Not too many annoying guys trying to mess with me." I nodded. He went to the couch and plopped down. Patting his leg as he saw my gaze. My ears turned pink and I slowly went toward him. I was partly there when he grabbed my hand and tugged me onto him. I fell right on top of him with an oof sound. "A-Ash stop! I'm gonna crush you!" He stopped and looked at me like I was crazy. "How on earth would that even be possible? You're skinnier than an old man's-" I slapped my hand on his mouth, afraid of the rest of that sentence. His eyes showed nothing but his lips turned up. Then his hands found their way around my waist carefully. He patted a few times, then went to my back and carresed my skin. I shivered delightfully and pressed my chest onto his. He ran his hands through my hair and down my back, even massaging my ears. Then my mind went fuzzy and I found the darkness peaceful. I drifted off easily. I awoke though, to being placed gently on a cold surface. I opened my eyes, them still being bleary, and peered around. Ash had set me on the counter in the kitchen. "As much as I was enjoying cuddles and your adorable sleeping face, you need to eat. Your stomach grumbled in your sleep. Now tell the truth, you said you ate. What did you eat?." I looked down and twiddled my thumbs. "An apple." "For Breakfast? Lunch? Snack? Or, is that what you had all day?" I didn't answer knowing he would get it. I don't know why I'm not hungry. I'm just not. Haven't been all day. "I-I'm really sorry." Ash shook his head with that damn sympathetic look. "Stop looking at me like that! I know I'm gross so stop!" The meaning of sympathetic has been lost and all I can hear is disappointed. "Eiji-" "Don't, you won't even actually smile anymore! I'm sorry! I really am! I'll be better! I won't need anything! I won't! I don't need attention. You can leave me alone for more than a few hours! I'll be fine! I'll stop being such a bitch, but please! Stop looking at me like I'm worthless." My yelling had turned to low talking. And I wasn't even talking to Ash anymore. His hands pulled me in and folded me tight. Not leaving any room for my thoughts as he squeezed me. "Eiji, I want you to know...healing isn't about being too needy. Its really not. And the sooner you figure that out the sooner you can get better." I let his words sink in and I just let them consume me. My head on his shoulder and his nuzzled in my hair. I once again close my eyes and let it dawn in reality that I was getting better before. I was better. But then they came back. They all did. And just like before...Ash had slayn the demons that had plagued me. The first demons I'd ever seen, and Ash, being the first angel to save me. I'm gonna show this angel the best me. No matter how long it takes.

Omg you guys. I love you hehe. Also gons_missing_dad, you're hilarious. So ima call you all the coolest people ever, because like...duh. also, don't know if I asked already but do you guys wanna do like 20 questions or sum? Whether it be about the book or me as a person. Let me know by commenting you are very encouraged to do so! Anyway bye cool people!