Angels

Are

"You did not just clean whole house. I was not that passed out" Jonghyun sat there shocked when seeing how spotless everything was.

"You were out for 3 hours! It was enough time for me. Here eat this. I have not cooked in a while so I'm kinda scared but when I tasted it it was edible " I chuckled slightly and served him food

"It's really delicious! Thank you" He was sitting in front of me, eating and there was this painful but at the same time relaxing.

I knew he was suffering inside. Just like me and any other people who had severe depression but we kept everything inside.

Not because we don't want to talk about it, nah. It's just we don't know how we feel, what's going into our mind and what's this numbness we feel every time we just breathe.

I just started eating with him and I saw his hidden tears. To not make it awkward I started crying too. Not that it was hard, the feelings that have been bottled up are finally free.

"Why are we crying"

"It's fine to cry without reason Jonghyunah. Just let's let all of them out"

And lemme tell you, we were crying out loud. Not only because the depression we suffered from. No. From everything. We just continued eating while crying and silently cursing life for giving us hard times.

His house in the woods had big two walls made out of glass, to be honest my favorite place. We were sitting there while drinking hot choco and he was writing his book.

"When will I be able to read this?"

"I don't know. But before I publish it I want you to read it."

"Do you think people will finally understand you after reading that?"

"Yes no. Some will, some won't. But I will keep trying" he smiled at me and continued writing.

"How are you feeling though, away from your "life" and people who have always been around you?"

"To be honest, better. Social media and work worned me off. Just added more to my thoughts and responsibilities. But since I am here I don't think about those details which always triggered me but I will be in trouble later I know that."

"Yeah I know. What's the book about?"

"Married couple falling out of love roughly. I'm gonna tell you only that."

"Okay... what do you think though, will we ever get married?"

"If not let's get married and adopt kids. And if any of us dies first... you know what I mean... let's adopt kid who gets born on that day or on our birthday. I don't know it just hit me."

"Well there's no romance between us so why not."

"We just need person. Our person which is us. For me you and for you-me. When you told me it actually hit me that you are that one person who I always lacked in my life. Someone who takes me for who I am and doesn't want to see lies. "

"It's raining" for some reason our talks most of the time where really random. I got up and hold my hand in front of me, Jonghyun guesses what I wanted and got up, taking my hand and we went outside.

I slowly stepped in the rain and let it hit me and soak me. I found open space and ladies down, Jonghyun doing exactly same next to me.

"Imagine your thoughts are these rain droplets. Let it take everything you think about. If you want scream if you want whisper or even just imagine. Do whatever you want. I'm here." I said and grasped his hand.

He took in deep breath and suddenly screamed "WHY IS THERE NO ONE WHO ACCEPTS ME? WHY AM I FEELING THIS MISERABKE AND WHAT DID I DO SO WRONG? WHY CAN I BE HAPPY JUST ONCE? WHY? WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE WHOS SUFFERING? I DID NOTHIBG WRONG! SET ME FEEE PLEASE" he sobbed out and put his another hand on his eyes, hiding them from the rain.

"I'm here. I'm deaf and blind. Cry as much as you want." And hugged him. A hug which meant a lot for him and nothing for the universe.

A/n: I wish I could write more but I'm really emotional right now. I actually ended up crying while writing this. The thing is I also have depression and at some point thought about it all...

HAVE A NICE DAY! Love you❤️