Hate Me | Eren Yeager

18. Lavender

A/N: I'm so sorry guys this chapter is really short, idk why I planned it like this.

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The heartbeat monitor is steady, drowning out the busy noises of the hospital outside this room, it's the only thing you can focus on.

You mother lays soundly in front of you, resting after her long emergency surgery to remove her pancreas. The doctor is telling you her odds of surviving are even lower now.

"*sniff*..."

It's hard to hold back the stray tears, especially since your head is running rampant with anxiety and worry. You don't want to lose your mother, but... it's looking like she's not going to make it.

Your breath hitches when she begins to stir, opening her frail eyes to look at you.

"Hey mom... how are you feeling?"

"Hi honey..."

She smiles for you, but you wish she wouldn't. It makes you grit your teeth that she's still trying to act like she's happy and fine, but... it's probably easier for her to cope that way. There's something about reassuring others that reassures yourself.

"How was your day?" Her voice is weak, you wish she wouldn't waste her remaining breath.

"I-it was good. I hung out with Sasha and Mikasa, and... I came home and watched Ghostbusters."

There aren't enough words in the world to describe the heaviness plaguing the room, the silence in the air, the bitterness in the truth.

Her eyes travel to the exposed area where your wrist and forearm meet, noticing the fresh dark bruise.

"Oh, what happened to your arm?"

"Nothing, I just hit it really hard." You're quick to cover it with your sleeve.

It might be too late, but she doesn't really say anything, she just gives you a knowing look.

"You know... I've never trusted Reiner. There was always something off about him. He's a nice man but... I know a mask when I see one. I don't like his mother either."

"Mom, stop that."

"I'm sorry dear, I just want you to know I don't want you to be with him. In case something happens to me, I want to be completely honest from now on."

You feel yourself grow cold and hardened, "Don't talk like that mom."

You already knew it, and she already knows it, but she's not going to survive this. People like to get really honest when their lives are cut short.

"Why have you always had... such bad taste in boys?"

You chuckle bitterly and hold her clammy hand, "... Yeah."

I'm sorry mom, you shouldn't have to see your daughter like this...

~

The lemonade doesn't taste as sweet as it usually does, and the sky outside of the window doesn't feel as sunny despite Sasha and Mikasa's bright smiles across the table from you.

You feel weird wearing a jacket even though it's hot today, but it's better than not wearing one.

"Hey y/n, how's Reiner doing?" Mikasa asks calmly with a striped straw in her mouth.

"Oh... he's fine."

"Yknow, I like Reiner. He's a nice guy, I feel like you two go well together. I think he's really good for you."