Darker Than Sin (BoyxBoy) Book 2

Chapter 19

Four days later

James

The funeral service was something you'd see in the movies.

All of us crowded under a small canopy in the pouring rain. I stood next to my parents and uncle Matthew while I held Julia in my arms, her distraught eyes looking blankly towards the white casket.

She's never been to a funeral before, let alone someone in her family. Papa asked my dad if she should come to begin with, but dad persisted it was important. It was important because she had to know grandma didn't stop visiting her out of anywhere. Of course, she didn't have to know how she died... that was a story for when she was older.

''James...'' She whispered to me, pulling me out of my train of thought. I met her brown eyes that were leaking with tears now, but she didn't make a noise. The sight alone hurt more than anything I felt this past week, to be honest. I hated seeing her upset...

''Yes, Julia?'' I finally whispered. My own words scared me once they left my lips. They shook and burned my throat as I tried to keep the cries in, although it already sounded like I was. I brought a hand up to her face, wiping away any tears that were streaming down her cheeks.

''Where is grandma going now?'' She asked me. I didn't really know how to answer her. Papa and dad always raised us in their own religions, but obviously gave us the choice to choose one of them or our own. It was a great tactic until we faced death in our family, or the death of people we cared about.

Which one is the right one? Which one lets us see them again?

I looked over at Papa who was listening intently to our conversation. His darker eyes looked drained from any life that was left in them, especially this past week.

Everyone who stood here was tired. In the span of two weeks, three people we love were taken from us... and one of them was missing. It's like the funeral was a break from the madness that kept hitting us over and over again, but it really didn't feel like it. I felt like screaming and ripping my hair out, but... I was just exhausted. I don't think I had the strength in me to do it.

He broke contact with my eyes, looking back at the casket that was being lowered in the ground.

''She's in a better place now.'' That was all I could come up with, unfortunately. She finally buried her face in my neck as she began to cry, her body shaking under my hand that was placed firmly on her back. I felt terrible for not coming up with a better explanation.

I liked to think she was in her own personal heaven, regardless of any God that gave it to her. She had all the yarn she could want and jewelry she could wear. A place where she could be young again and experience life how she should have. A place where we could visit her someday from our own personal heaven like she was our neighbor.

Where she wasn't sick anymore or trapped in her skin like a slave.

All of us didn't really know how to talk once it was over.

It was the first time our whole family was together, including my aunts Mary and Jazmin and my uncles Josiah and David. Their friend Dallas showed up too, to everyone's surprise. Nobody knew he came in the first place- he stood in the back on his own with an umbrella shielding his face from the rain.

He was just another thing for my dad to worry about.

My dad didn't really cry at all to begin with, though. He stood next to my uncle Matthew with their hands intertwined tightly, shoulders pressed together like they were communicating with each other through touch. He'd occasionally look over to my uncle with a nod, almost as if they were accepting it.